Marco stared at me for what felt like an eternity, his lips parted from what I assumed was shock. And for the longest time, we were silent as I waited for him to react.
"So, you're in love with Kevin, who has Izabel –" he spoke slowly, but I didn't need him to finish the sentence to know what he was implying. "I know. I'm a terrible person," I interjected, knitting my eyebrows together, "but I just don't know how to get rid of these stupid feelings."
My gaze fell to my hands, guilt suddenly feeling like the weight of the world. It was appalling, I knew that. Even after months of knowing Kevin had a girlfriend, I was still madly in love with him.
"Why didn't you tell him before?" he questioned gently, as if I was fragile and any harsh words would break me. I looked at him, the corners of my lips slightly pulled down.
I didn't have to say anything, because he understood perfectly well. "You're afraid he doesn't feel the same way," he said, and I nodded slowly in reply.
We exchanged glances, and suddenly I found myself chuckling as I looked away. A small smile was etched across his face when I turned back to him. The same reassuring smile that Kevin used to give me all the time.
"Just to clarify," he began, "what happened at the party, was for real right?" My mouth fell agape and my forehead creased in disapproval. "You think I'd frame her?"
Marco nearly choked on his coffee, and furiously shook his head as he set the mug down. "No Kaylie," he professed, "of course not. I'd never accuse you, I just – want to know."
A small sigh escaped my lips. I guess after my confession; I couldn't blame him for thinking that way. So I had to make it clear.
"Yes, Izabel is the one he loves and not me. But I love him enough to know that he's happy with her. All I ever want for him is to be happy, even if I'm not in the equation" I admitted.
But even as I uttered those words, I knew I was lying to myself. I did want to remain in the equation, more than anything.
"Kaylie if you love him, tell him what he deserves to know from that night," Marco placed a hand on my shoulder, looking at me somberly. I exhaled lightly. He's right.
⦁⦁⦁
I was a regular at PSG's games. But despite Kevin insisting numerous times for me to visit him in the dressing room after the game, I wouldn't budge. Up until that day, of course.
Kevin had received an elbow to the eye, producing a gash above it. Even from the stands I could tell it had been bleeding profusely. So after the game I made the decision to rush down to find him.
But I completely forgot; I had a roadblock to surpass. The guard by the entrance to the backroom crossed his arms over his torso when he saw me approach. "Do you have a pass?"
I froze at the question. The answer was fairly obvious, and I think he knew that too. "No, but I'm Kevin's..." I found myself trailing off right there.
What was I to Kevin?
I was in the worst possible place to be pondering an answer to that question. Yet I couldn't help myself. Thankfully however, a familiar face suddenly came into view. "Kaylie?"
Thomas nodded at the guard, who proceeded to move aside so I could come through. "Thought you said you didn't come down here?" He questioned. I shrugged, "there's a first time for everything."
His eyes lingered on me for a moment before chuckling. He placed a hand on my back just above my rear, startling me. But I kept my cool, following him as he walked. "I'll show you the dressing room," he smirked.
As he led me into partially empty dressing room, the very first person that caught my eye; was Kevin. He was seated, and Izabel leaned over him, examining his wound. I watched as she tilted his face up so she could plant a kiss on his lips.
"That's mine," Thomas' voice snapped me back to reality, and my eyes followed to where his finger was pointing. "Messy, I know," he laughed, referring to his locker.
A smile slowly formed across my face. I placed a hand on his shoulder, laughing, "it's okay Thomas, I'm no clean freak either." He was about to speak when he was interrupted by Thiago, who mumbled something his way and flashed me a grin before walking off.
"So," he turned his attention back to me, "did you enjoy the game?" I nodded, stealing a glance at Kevin and Izabel before answering, "yeah. You guys were awesome."
His face seemed to light up at that, as if I had just sent him to cloud nine. But all I could think about was Kevin, as I watched him and Izabel amble out hand in hand. He didn't even see me.
Thomas didn't seem to notice, as he took off his shirt right before me and slipped on another one. "So can I drive you home?" He asked, picking up his bag.
I opened my mouth, about to reject him, when something made me pause. Maybe it was pity, from the way he looked at me so eagerly, and any answer besides yes would crush him.
"Sure," I flashed him a warm smile, which reflected the exact opposite of what I felt. But it didn't bother me. I was always putting up a fake smile for Kevin anyway.
—
poor girl ):
also, I have a new story out featuring Borrusia Dortmund called Lifeline :) Hope you guys could check it out!☺❤
