I was idling around the house, having had dinner with no plans afterwards, when my doorbell rang. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. It was 11 in the evening, who could possibly come over so late?
When I opened the door, I was greeted by a massive teddy bear. "Happy belated birthday, Kaylie!" Kevin's voice sounded from behind the bear. As he trudged into my apartment hugging the bear, I couldn't help but laugh in utter amusement.
"Sorry I'm 24 hours late!" He yelled cheekily. Since Kevin had been at an away game the day before, he had to miss my birthday for the first time in our friendship. Initially I had been extremely downhearted.
But all I could do was agree to his promise that he would make it up to me. Only I didn't realize it would be the night directly after.
"You look ridiculous," I quipped, watching as he lay the bear on my couch. He shrugged, "I do a shit load of things for you, Kaylie."
Again, I laughed, knowing that he was probably just saying that the way any best friend would. But for me, his words only made my heart flutter. Kevin scurried over to my kitchen counter, a paper bag in his hands.
He brought out a small cupcake, gingerly placing it on the counter. "Really, Kevin?" I asked as he stuck a candle into the cupcake and lighted it. "I'm sorry I couldn't get you a giant cake okay? This will do," he made a face before taking my hand and leading me to the counter.
"Now come on, Kaylie, make a wish," he smirked eagerly. He took a seat across me, the cupcake sitting between us. I glanced at the cupcake before running a hand through my hair, "you're still not forgiven, Kevin."
"I know," he replied, pouting in apparent guilt,"which is why the next time I have an away game on your birthday, you're coming with." He grinned, and in that moment, I knew I wouldn't have it any other way.
Sure, this man would never love me the way I loved him. But every moment spent with him I would cherish, and hold onto dearly.
Eventually I closed my eyes, and I thanked the heavens for Kevin. Because frankly, all my wishes had already come true the moment he came into my life.
⦁⦁⦁
For a while after the door closed, I stared at it, my thoughts racing. I didn't know what to think. Surely he was feeling devastated, or furious even. But he seemed to show no signs of that.
Instead, he seemed deeply absorbed in his own thoughts. But how could I, as his best friend, not know what was going through his mind right then?
"Kaylie," Marco's voice snapped me back to reality. I gazed at him, waiting for him to continue. "He's been different, Kevin. Even before this," he stated. Different?
I was about to question him when soft knocking was heard from the door. Marco furrowed his eyebrows, confused, before eventually opening the door. Had Kevin come back? But much to our surprise, it was Thomas who greeted us.
"Kaylie," he breathed, meeting my eyes. Immediately I looked away, refusing to speak to him. Marco seemed to have understood because he shook his head at Thomas, "bro, I don't exactly think she wants to see you right now."
"Can I at least explain myself?" I heard him say, prompting me to stop in my tracks. I turned, plucking the courage to face him. "There's no need," I muttered, my voice barely above a whisper. With that I spun back around, determined to leave the scene.
But his next sentence only made me freeze once again. "It was because of Kevin, okay?" He said before Marco could close the door on him. Hearing that, I slowly backtracked toward the hall where I could see him.
Thomas sighed, "Kaylie, I see the way you look at him. You love him, don't you? You always have. And honestly all I wanted was for you to look at me that way." My eyes fell to the ground, realizing that he was speaking the truth.
"I thought we had something, Kaylie. But your heart's with Kevin. You look at him like he's your world," he continued slowly, "I was – envious."
For a long moment, I could only stare the the ground. I couldn't even deny what he was saying because he was telling no lie. Despite having told myself numerous times to let go of Kevin, my heart has refused to cooperate.
Why did I even bother trying? It was always going to be Kevin. I could feel the stares of Marco on Thomas boring into me, and I had to restrain myself from fleeing into Marco's bedroom. Away from all this. From reality.
But the reality was that I loved someone else while pretending to be in love with another. I was in the wrong, and everybody knew it.
"You're right," I eventually found my voice. This time I found the strength to look Thomas in the eye. I needed to make my point clear. "It was always Kevin."
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