BBC Sherlock Imagines (Book 2)

Sherlock: Clown Hunting

(This picture has nothing to do with the story, but I love it)

Also... I can't remember if someone else requested this, or if it was me... I think it was someone else.

~

"This is the Americans fault you know," grumbled John. "I mean what kind of country has a clown problem?" he asked, shining his flashlight into the surrounding woods on either side of the road.

"The kind that has two clowns already running for president," responded Sherlock.

"You saw that online didn't you?" asked Greg.

"Some website with a blue bird and overuse of the pound sign," answered Sherlock. Suddenly he stopped in the road, he eyes bright even in the dark. "Do you hear that?" he asked. The trio was silent, waiting for any indication that a killer clown might be near.

Since the clowns had taken over America, they began popping up in other countries as well. Now it was England's turn. Sherlock had begun getting numerous calls from people asking him to come investigate. At first he ignored them, claiming it wasn't worth his time. Then Mary and (y/n) convinced them to go (more like said they were chickens for not going), and that was what led them to this abandoned road outside of London, on the edge of the forest.

They heard a branch break off to their left and brush moving on their right. The three shined their flashlights back and forth, moving closer and closer together until their was no space left between the three of them.

That's when they saw the first one step out. It was dressed to the nines in stripes and polka dots, its face painted as white as a sheet. It's hair was a sickly green, a curly mess on top of its head. Blood red lipstick lined it's mouth, it's smiling mouth, and its eyes were outlined with black. It stood there, just smiling, it's hands behind its back.

"It's, it's, it's a clown," stuttered Lestrade. The clown slowly brought its hand forward, a butcher's knife clasped firmly in it. "Well great, now it's a clown with a knife," whispered Lestrade.

"Your deductions are fantastic," whispered Sherlock dryly, trying to hold the shakiness out of his voice, "you should do them more often."

Suddenly a rasping yell escaped from the clown's mouth. The boys jumped. It took a step closer and let out another screech. It took another step closer and the boys jumped back more. "What do you want?" Sherlock yelled out at it. It just smiled back.

Branches broke to their right, and John flashed his light to find another clown stepping out of the trees, this one holding a saw. "Looks like we've got more company," he said, latching onto the green eyes that stared back at him.

The trio backed up from the clowns, which were now both approaching them rapidly. One licked the butcher knife while the other laughed hideously and waved the saw around.

"Stop terrorizing people," said Sherlock. "Go back to making animal balloons at parties." The clowns continued laughing and screeching. "Get your gun out," ordered Sherlock to Lestrade. Lestrade reached for his holster, pulling it out.

"Come any closer and I'll shoot," he threatened. The clowns just laughed, and he noticed that he wasn't holding his pistol, he was holding a green squirt gun. "What the-" he said, and Sherlock flexed his jaw angrily.

"Decided to have a water gun fight earlier Gunther?" spat Sherlock, now starting to get more worried as the clowns were approaching. He looked behind him and saw that if they kept backing up, they'd have their backs up against the fence.

"I had my gun in before I came to pick you two up, I swear."

"Try not to pee your knickers you two, I'll be back in a minute," said Sherlock, closing his eyes.

"Where the bloody hell do you think you're going? You're not leaving us with these things!" said Lestrade. John pointed to Sherlock's head and Lestrade understood: mind palace.

Sherlock took steady breaths, raking through his mind palace for ideas as to what to do. He was completely submerged in it when he heard yelling and cursing and suddenly a blunt force knocked him over. His head hit the grass with a thud and he reached for his flashlight, shining it into a clown's face.

A clown's face which had (y/n)'s hair and (y/n)'s laugh. "Oh man, you three were so scared," laughed the clown, which he now realized was (y/n).

"(Y/n)?" he asked, caught off guard.

"Surprise," you laughed. Sherlock signed the flashlight to his right where he heard more laughter, and saw another clown beside John, whom he soon realized was Mary.

"You two are completely mad," yelled John, standing up and dusting himself off.

"Oh come on, don't be so uptight. We just wanted to have a little fun with you boys," said Mary, planting a kiss on John's cheek.

"Some fun," muttered John angrily.

"I for one knew it was a joke the whole time," said Sherlock, standing to his feet and straightening his scarf.

"Yeah okay," you mocked while fluffing his hair. "That's why you told Lestrade to get his gun out? It's a good thing we were smart enough to switch it out at the flat while he wasn't looking."

"Speaking of Lestrade," said John, glancing around. The group swung their heads back and forth and shined flashlights here and there.

"Found him!" yelled Mary, and everyone ran towards her voice. Lestrade lay on the ground, groaning and rubbing his head.

"What the hell happened?" you asked, lifting his head and shining the light in his eyes.

"I-I think I fainted when I saw the-" he glanced at you and Mary who were still fully decked out in your clown attire "CLOWNS!"

His eyes rolled into the back of his head again and the group watched in horror.

"Well," said Sherlock, "clown hunting is definitely not Garth's division."

A/N

Hello has it been like 10 gazillion years since I last updated? Feels like it.

FOR SOME REASON MY LAPTOP KEEPS AUTOCORRECTING "LESTRADE" TO "BESTRIDE" and it's really annoying lol.

YOU KNOW WHAT
"What?"
I've been having a really sucky past two weeks. Like I'm ready to give up on life. But I have this one person, one single person, that reminds me of what to look forward to, of what to live for.
What I'm trying to say is.. If you're struggling, find that thing. Find that thing to hold onto. There will be days where you feel like you cannot get out of bed, where you'd rather not be in this world anymore, where you just don't care.
Trust me, I know how that feels.. But you have to keep going. You may think this world would be better off without you, but it won't. You may think you have no purpose BUT YOU DO. And if you struggle to find that one thing to look forward to, talk to me. I will give you one single thing to look forward to every day if that is what it takes to keep you in this world.
Because let me tell you, it's stormy now but it does not rain forever. And you know what else? This is my favorite quote by John Lennon. "It will all be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end."
It will all be okay. Just hold on. Please. If I'm holding on, you're holding on with me. I love you children SO SO SO MUCH.
So let's start by answering this question and thinking about the best part of waking up in the morning...

Random: Finish this sentence.
"The best part of waking up is..."
(Yes I know the jingle ends with "Folgers in your cup")

"Stay close to anything that makes you feel glad you are alive."
- Unknown