Road to Nowhere

Chapter Eight

"Eva," George said quietly as brought his hands up to cup my face. My eyes were closed, and for an instant, I just wanted to be there with George, just the two of us, nothing else around us. 

But then, there was a knock at the door, and I immediately thought of Danny. 

"Uh," I stammered, "I'll get that..."

I quickly looked in the mirror to make sure I looked...normal. Granted, I was blushing slightly, but everything else looked like nothing had happened. I took a deep breath and opened the door to the suite.

"Oh, Paul!" I said, eyes widening. 

"'Ello," Paul said, leaning against the doorway with a cigarette in his mouth. "John's not letting us watch anything else on the telly, figured you'd accommodate an old pal." 

Paul craned his neck a little bit to look past me, but I didn't dare turn around. Paul raised one eyebrow.

"You two just listening to music, then?"

"Yup." I was trying to play it cool. 

"Hmm. Mind if I join?" Paul said, still leaning against the doorframe. 

"Sure," I said, probably a little too quickly. Paul smiled slightly and then entered the room, sitting down on the chair near George. 

I returned and sat in the second chair, across from Paul. Paul was absentmindedly listening to the radio and examining his cigarette. George and I, on the other hand, were totally on edge. At least, I was embarrassed, guilty...a whole flood of emotions. And I didn't really want Paul finding out what had happened prior to his entrance. 

"So," Paul began as an ad started on the radio, "how're your significant others? Remind me what it's like." 

"Oh, you're not with Jane anymore?" I asked. Paul shook his head. George cleared his throat.

"I guess it's all fine," George said, lighting a cigarette. 

"All good here," I said. I didn't really want to disclose to Paul that I'd started having doubts about my relationship with Danny, especially since I'd just told George. Look where that got me. 

Exactly. Look where talking about my problems with Danny got me- seated between two of my friends, one of whom I'd just danced with and kissed. Were my perceived issues with Danny just one-sided? Clearly Danny had been suspicious of my friendship with the Beatles for ages, but was I now just jumping to conclusions only because of the kiss with George?

Anyway, the filming continued and the movie was made. The boys didn't like it as much as 'A Hard Day's Night', but I thought they were getting boatloads of money, so why did it matter?  Throughout the filming, my relationship with George became more tense. I felt awkward, especially when others were around; I kept wondering if they knew what had happened. George reassured me he hadn't told anyone; he couldn't, since if someone found out, then the whole thing with Pattie would blow-up. 

I guess during that time I sort of distanced myself from the boys a bit; maybe it wasn't the smartest thing to do, but I felt uncomfortable- what else was I going to do, act like nothing had happened? 

I ended up returning to Danny earlier than I'd expected; I decided I'd just write what I could about the film and end it with a 'you'll just have to go see it' line. 

The problem was, once I got back to Danny, I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't happy with him. He loved me more than I loved him. Not to mention, I felt extremely guilty about the George incident.