Road to Nowhere

Chapter Nine

I woke up hours later. Apparently, I'd been moved from the lounge in the studio to my hotel room. I checked the clock; it was almost seven. 

Great, I'd been incapacitated for most of the day. No photos, no lunch, just a wasted day- literally and figuratively. 

I sat up and noticed there was a note beside the clock. "Hope the photos came out well! Give us a call when you come to. John."

I rubbed my head and reached for the phone, dialing John's number. 

"Hello?"

"Hi, John."

"Ah! So you're out of your gin coma," he laughed.

"Yeah," I groaned. The headache was murder. "How did I get back here?"

"Ringo and I gave you a lift," John said. "Once the bellboy saw us, he let us go right up."

"Thank you," I said, making a mental note to call Ringo later. "How did things go in the studio today, other than my distraction?"

"Alright." John's tone changed slightly. I wasn't sure what was going on with the guys, but there was definitely some tension beneath the surface. 

"Well, I'll be back tomorrow to actually do my job."

"Good. We'll be looking forward to it, you know how I always wanted to be a model," John joked. I laughed.

"Well, I'm going to try and get something to eat. I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah. Bye, Eva."

Once we hung up, I made my way out into the sitting area of my hotel suite. I found a room service menu and ordered the most plain thing possible- chicken and mashed potatoes, with a side of asparagus. 

I was just getting ready to dig in after the bellboy left when the phone rang. Unfortunately, the food had to wait. 

"Hello?"

"Oy, Eva! Glad to hear you're responding!" 

"Oh, hi, Paul," I said.

"So...what was the deal with your gin and tonic lunch?"

I felt my cheeks get warm, and I shifted in my seat. I didn't want to talk about the drinking, I'd been trying to keep it private for a while. 

"Just needed to feel relaxed, I guess."

"Oh."

"You should understand, of all people," I said, my voice rising a little. "You're always on something."

"Hey, Eva, I'm just trying to make sure you're okay and-"

"Well I'm not, am I?" 

There was silence. 

"Paul, for so many years now I've been in the spotlight. I went from having a pretty normal life to one that was unimaginable. I'm always in the news, in some tabloid. I'm always being accused of stealing someone's boyfriend or sleeping around with one of you. My appearance is criticized all the time, and I feel like if I make one wrong move, I'll be fired or someone will be there to at least photograph it. Plus, if that wasn't bad enough, I'm criticized for being single- of all things! I can't have you as a friend, but I also can't be alone! I'm either a boyfriend stealer or on the path to being an old maid."

More silence on Paul's end. I sighed, somewhat breaking down now.

"I've only had one relationship, Paul, and look how that ended. Now I'm alone and being targeted for drinking. Can anyone blame me? I'm unhappy, that's what it comes down to. Unhappy with every aspect of my life."

"Well," Paul said, clearing his throat, "I can sympathize with the tabloids and photographers and all that. I've been in the same boat. Obviously, they don't talk about me and the lads the same way they talk about you. But if you're that unhappy, I don't think you'll make any progress just drinking it away."

"Like you make any progress by doing all your drugs?"

"Hey, we've had some gear singles out of some of those drugs," Paul said, getting defensive. "They open your mind, and all that."

"You're an addict whether you like it or not."

"So are you, just a different vice."

Now I was silent. 

"I just need a way to sedate myself from everything," I said quietly. "Alcohol's the ticket."

"Eva," Paul said, changing the subject, "about the relationship bit. You're doing fine for yourself; you have a good job, money, friends. It's not like no lad's ever fancied you."

"Oh, other than Danny? Name one."

Paul cleared his throat.

"Uh, well," he stammered, "I can't name one off the top of my head, but have you read those articles about you? About how boys everywhere wish they could be in the Beatles so they'd be near you? You're quite the teen idol."

"Ha! If you say so."

Yet another pause. I moved the mashed potatoes around on the plate. I hope they weren't too cold. 

"How about we find something to watch on the telly? I'll hop over to the hotel."

"What about Jane, or whatever girl it is now?"

"I've cleared my schedule this evening," Paul said. "John and the lads wanted to go to some club, but maybe I need a break. If you say I'm an addict, maybe a night off could be good for me. And no booze for you, either."

"Alright," I laughed. "If you insist, just have the front desk ring me when you're here."