gone | oikawa tooru

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I visited my buddy in the hospital around late afternoon. Apparently, Oikawa suffered from myleiod leukemia.

A disease in which doctors have no clues for any cure yet.

Oikawa was in so much pain.

I always stopped by the hospital, checking up on him if he was doing well. I even stayed there for a week because I was afraid he would be gone soon.

'He only has one month left,' the doctors said.

No way, I snorted. Oikawa? die? No can do.

I walked in Oikawa's room and sat by his bedside. He slept peacefully.

The only time where Oikawa never felt any pain was when he slept.

I checked his heartbeat monitor and his heart's pace was normal. I was relieved.

I suddenly felt the urge to smile. I don't know why but seeing Oikawa just made me unusually happy.

I reached out for his hand, and somehow, my heart began beating fast. What's this feeling in my chest? Am I.. ?

No way.

I squeezed his hand and his eyes slowly fluttered open. He tried to sit up but i quickly stood up and pushed him back. 'You need rest. Keep--"

"(f/n)..." Oikawa murmured as he gently shook his head sideways, settling back down. "No.. You can't be real..."

Oikawa's gaze turned to the ceiling. "It's just a dream.." He whispered, tears prickling his eyes. "You're so far.. far away from me.."

He, then, turned to me. "She walks in celestial heavens..floating in endless stars" He weakly reached for my hand and squeezed it.

"D-Do you.." He gulped, trying to bite back tears that threatened to fall. "Do you think.. s-she could've loved m-me?"

My lips quivered as I stared at him blankly. I couldn't bear seeing Oikawa suffer so much.

I felt Oikawa let go of my hand,"It's just a dream," I heard Oikawa murmur before dozing off. "She's gone."

Those two words shot a huge pang of pain through my chest. He let me go. He just let me go.

It hurt so much, knowing the fact that Oikawa didn't need me anymore.

But it was just the right thing.

In order for Oikawa to heal, he needed to let go of the one thing that kept him unhappy.

And that was me.

Two years and a half and he finally grasped the idea of letting go.

I was dead, anyway. What else could I do?

I mustered a smile as I looked at Oikawa's now pale, sleeping figure.

My job was done.

I kissed Oikawa's forehead and gently caressed Oikawa's cheeks.

I had to go.

I slowly turned around and began walking away.

Never turning back, never looking back at the one person that made me so happy.

Farewell, Tooru.

——————-
inspired by the Hobbit

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