Don't Forget To Remember Me

Forgiveness

Seto stepped outside and kept walking, not wanting to linger where anybody could see him. He ended up standing by the very ledge where he'd stood when he started losing his duel with Yugi. He looked out over the dark forest into the night, his arms crossed as he tried to push the unwanted memories out of his mind. He looked down at his hands, no longer needing to hide their compulsive tremor now that he was alone. He glared at his own appendages before stuffing them in his pockets and just closing his eyes for a moment.

The soft sound of even footsteps approaching made him sigh softly. The punctuated footfalls on the flagstones stopped somewhere close behind him. The silence stretched out for several long moments before Seto finally spoke, reasonably expecting his companion to be Kisara. After all, who else here but Kisara and Mokuba would have followed him out here? And who else but Kisara would have waited to speak?

"I can't stop remembering." His voice was soft and anxious, expressing more emotion than most people who'd interacted with him ever heard. "He was always dragging me to these kinds of parties when I was kid. 'Straighten up, boy. Be polite.' He was never afraid to reprimand me in front of his partners." Anger touched his voice now. "I couldn't even tell you how many times he threatened to throw us out. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better that way." Unconscious of his own action, he reached across his body to rub his shoulder with the opposite hand, remembering how it would sting and ache with fresh welts whenever he was punished as a child. He dropped his hand from his shoulder with a quiet sigh.

"I always knew that something must have happened to you. Nobody acts the way you did for no reason."

Kaiba stiffened. That wasn't Kisara at all. He stood as still as a statue, not deigning to reply or to even turn around as the King of Games strolled forward to join him by the edge.

"I'm glad that you're starting to move past your PTSD, though," Yugi said calmly. PTSD. Seto never would have thought that he had PTSD; he wasn't a war veteran, after all. He hadn't witnessed a massacre or lived in a war zone. He hadn't—

Yugi glanced up at his friend and was concerned by his stricken expression and blank stare.

"Kaiba, are you alright?"

"How did you—"

"Mokuba asked me to help him edit his best-man speech last night. I asked him some questions about your childhood, and what he didn't know, I could fill in for myself."

"I never should have told him all that," Seto grumbled, regretting the day that he'd sat down with Mokuba and explained how he'd gotten his scars.

"Once I knew that you'd been traumatized, it was easy to see that it was affecting you long-term."

"I wasn't just traumatized," Kaiba growled. "I was conditioned." He couldn't speak for a few moments as he struggled against his rapid pulse, trying to force himself to calm down—and failing.

"None of it was your fault, either. I hope you don't think that."

Seto shrugged nonchalantly, wanting to change the subject.

"Kisara told me that I should have picked you as my best man, because you always believed in me."

"I did believe in you. I always did."

"That's not possible."

"It's true."

"I hated you."

"I know."

"I hated your pacifism, how you would never fight back if someone attacked you. I hated that you wore a dog collar as an accessory. I hated that you could beat me. I promised myself that I'd become the best, because if I was the best, it made me the strongest, and if I was the strongest, I could never be hurt again, I'd never feel that shame again."

"You took it out on Joey, too," Yugi added softly. "He called you a dog, didn't he?"

"He said that I belonged on the streets."

Yugi had never heard Kaiba speak so quietly or with such anguish before. "He was wrong."

"I know."

Silence settled between them for a little while, neither of them turning to look at the other. Seto finally spoke again.

"Do you remember when we dueled here?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

"I forgive you, Kaiba." The brunette shook his head in disbelief as Yugi turned to look at him. "I'm not the only one who needs to forgive you, though, because I'm not the only you hurt. Who else did you hurt, Kaiba?" he asked softly.

"Joey, Tea, Tristan, Mokuba..."

"But who did you hurt the most?"

Kaiba finally turned to look at Yugi with a confused look as Yugi turned a soft smile on him.

"You hurt yourself most, Kaiba. Forgive yourself, and everything else will follow." He placed a hand on Kaiba's shoulder for a moment before turning to leave. That was when he saw that Kisara was standing behind them with tears in her eyes. She offered Yugi a grateful smile as he passed her to reenter the party.

Kaiba's personal angel tiptoed up to him and pecked him on the cheek before he could even notice that she was there. He started and looked down at her, immediately concerned.

"Why are you crying?" he asked softly as he lifted his hands to her face and tilted it back so that he could see her face more clearly in the moonlight.

"He's right, you know," she murmured, a tear falling from her eye as she smiled at him sweetly. "You continue to hurt yourself more than anyone else until you forgive yourself for what you've done."

When Yugi turned around to glance back at them, Seto had his forehead pressed against Kisara's, the two standing close together with their arms around each other. He smiled again before reentering Pegasus' castle to join his friends.