01 | Depression

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Your PoV

Wistfully staring out the window of my apartment in the heart of Manhattan, New York, the chilled window in front of my face clouds as I exhale every breath I take.

Why am I even still alive?

Why am I even still breathing?

There's only been one thing bothering me for the longest time, and that's the pain of depression. I don't know how long it's been ravaging my system anymore, but it won't go away no matter how hard I try.

I slide open the window and step out onto the fire escape below it. A cold breeze ruffles my (h/l) hair, but it doesn't deter my sight.

Inevitably, I'm looking straight at the docks near the banks of Manhattan.

Is that the best way to commit suicide, without drawing attention to yourself?
To drown?

Only one way to find out, right...?

I take a deep breath, knowing as I climb down the fire escape to the sidewalk that this was the obvious situation. I'd end up here one way or another, determined to kill myself.

With my eyes upon the docks that rest just twenty precious minutes away if I walk, I begin my journey, dragging my Converse clad feet. I turn down the corner, met by a throng of people waiting to cross the road. Swept along by their hurry to get wherever they were going, I wonder how many of them have ever felt like me.

Pushing the thoughts away from immediate consciousness, I focus upon the faded paint on the road, at the broken white and yellow lines that were once whole.

I take another turn to get rid of the crowd, and start running toward my demise.

Better to get it over with sooner than later.... Right?
~
Donnie's PoV

"Heya, Donnie, you got the pizzas?" Mikey asks me. I nod, grinning as I set down the mountain of pizza boxes in front of my ravenous brothers. Here we are, joined by April and Casey, and our older sister Karai. Our family recently defeated the Shredder as a whole, his grotesquely mutated body lying at the bottom of a river somewhere. It's been a month, now, and since we believe it's safe, we've gathered to celebrate.

We're hanging out at the docks, and it's way after dark. Stars, barely visible, twinkle above our heads. Sitting high atop one of the empty cargo crates they store here, we're unnoticed and left alone by whomever might pass through.

We dig into the warm, cheesy pizza, joking and laughing with each other, but it isn't long before we hear a loud crash.

We immediately fall silent.

"Ugh... Why am I so stupid..?!" a quiet voice grumbles, seeming not far away. Leo brings out his telescope, and gets up as he spots the noisemaker.

"C'mon," he whispers to us.

Still confused, we get up and follow him, leaving our unfinished pizzas behind. We creep along the top of the cargo boxes, following what we guessed was the person making the noise, until Leo stuck out his hand in a motion for us to stop.

We were practically right beside the ocean.

He put away his polished telescope, which glinted in the bare starlight as he did so.

It was at this moment that I saw a moving figure almost directly below my feet. The silhouette stopped abruptly, having obviously either seen us or completed its mission. Noting that the others were watching it too, I knelt down and concentrated on seeing it move again.

Its head slowly swiveled around, looking for something. With its investigation finished, the figure turned toward the lapping water that was now just a few steps ahead.

I glance back at Leo, realizing that I'm on edge. Something is definitely wrong here.

The figure pauses right before the tip of the concrete, seeming mesmerized by the dark waves directly below them.

Leo stands up again, and as if by a trigger, the figure jumps into the water.

Now, if I had stopped to think here, I may have realized that nobody just goes for a swim in the middle of the night. Especially off the docks of New York, in their clothes.

Or, as I found out later, weighted down with rocks.

But I didn't think twice. Before I knew it, I had launched myself into the air and was hurtling toward the water. Somewhere in my subconscious I could hear people shouting at me, but that was blocked out immediately as I hit the icy ocean.

For a moment, I couldn't get my bearings, but I quickly remembered what I was trying to do. Chilling thoughts pushed their way through my brain, suggesting what, perhaps, the little silhouette had been attempting to do.

Could it have been a dare?

Was this out of anger, or sadness?

Was it suicide?

My trained eyes picked up the shape of the figure barely outlined by a thin blue light that seemed to be coming from above. Were we both about to die?

I wrapped my arms around it, and as I kicked my legs, I brought us up to the surface of the water for some much-needed oxygen. As we broke through the waves, water splashed everywhere as I shook my head to get rid of it. The same blueish light glared down at me.

Leo's flashlight.

I almost laughed, but I soon came back to reality as I heard everyone yelling at me.

"Donnie, are you insane?" Raph asked me, in incredulity. "You just jumped off a cliff to save a human!"

"D, you could've died!" Mikey agreed, his clenched fists held close to his freckled face.

They climbed down from their cargo carrier, and Leo stuck out a hand to help me back up onto the dock. I took it, and was pulled up by my brother's famous strength with the figure still in my arms.

I set it down on the concrete as gently as I could, taking a big sigh of relief. Water dripped down my shell, making crisscross patterns on my legs.

It was a girl.

Her breathing was heavy and forced, her eyes closed. I put my hand to her forehead, drinking in the temperature.

"She's unconscious," I report. "What do we do now?"

"Can we take her to the lair? You could help her there, Donnie." April suggested.

Raph folded his arms. "I can think of a few reasons not to," he said gruffly. "She's a human. Think about how she'll react when she sees us. And what about Sensei?"

"I'll explain to him what's going on." I volunteer. "Why don't you guys get the pizza, and we'll all go down? It's safer there, anyway."

Slowly, I gather nods from each of my siblings. Mikey walks with me as everyone else heads back to grab our celebration meal.

I don't know if I'm ready to have another girl in the lair, but it look like this time, we don't have much of a choice.

*

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