Philkas + Jamler Oneshots

Kiss U Betta

@ Chica you may not like song.

'Kiss U Betta'

Inspired by Philkas video: http://www.imgrum.net/media/1374963131603759084_297185124

Inspired by song 'F*ck U Betta' above

Summary: Philip is jealous of Rose, what more can I say? Takes place around 1x02

Philip's POV

I wish it could be me holding his hand throughout the school corridors.

I wish it could be me who kissed him between classes.

I wish it could be me who he admitted.

I wish I wasn't some ignored little bitch of his.

I wish I wasn't treated like his toy.

I wish I could even just talk to him in public, just a simple hi even! A small little gesture in the halls! Anything! I wish I could do them without him yelling or hurting me...

I always thought to myself one day it'll happen one day, he will be proud...

Proud to call me his, proud to stand by my side and clutch my hand ever so comfortingly, and we could exchange a farewell kiss before we go to our separate classes...

I wish I wasn't all alone...
The other populars picking on me for being new, being in foster care, having a mom who is a drug addict, the few people who had ever tried to be nice had only ever tried once and decided 'never mind.' And the one person that made me feel like I was needed, that I wasn't alone, made me happy, made me feel loved. They refuse to take a second glance at me in the public eye...

The tears swelled up in my eyes and I dismissed of them with the back of my jacket sleeve, the one that brought back so many memories of dirt and grime from the uplifted dust from the back of the motorbike tire, the arms I wrapped around his waist and held onto him for dear life, it was the jacket he held onto and raised that hand to caress my face before our first kiss, the jacket I wore during the murder, the one jacket that caused the death of Tommy and Tracy...

"Ugh!" I yelled and pulled off the leather and badged jacket and shoved it in the trash can.

3rd POV

"You know how I said I wanted to take things slow?" Philip heard a familiar voice and he looked up to see what it was.

Lukas had his back pressed against a tree while Rose held him by the shirt.

Lukas nodded.

"Well, screw that..." Rose told him with a bite to her lip and she leaned in and kissed him.

Philip shook his head and ran down the sidewalk to get somewhere, anywhere, away from them, away from whatever screwed up relationship he had with Lukas.

And because of all the running and the wind rushing by his ears, he didn't hear Lukas tell Rose "I have to go! I have to help with the turkeys!" To cover up chasing after Philip.

At some point after reaching eye distance from the building, Lukas caught up with Philip and grabbed  him from the arm to pull him by a tree to stop walking.

"Hey, What's wrong? Why'd you toss out your jacket?" Lukas asked.

"Lukas, it's nothing. Just, just let me go. Go back with Rose." Philip spoke obviously unhappy.

"You know I'm not really into her right?" Lukas told him.

Philip looked straight into Lukas's eyes.

"No! No. I don't, okay?! I have no idea what you feel about her, or about me! In public you act like I'm a freak, an abomination, and you punched me even when I was trying to tell you something! Then as soon as we're alone you treat me like your toy that you can mess around with Lukas! I don't know if you're using me for some sort of shitty self experiment, or if you're doing this as some sick twisted joke to mess with me, and if you are then fuck you. Fucking, fuck you! I just want to know if I'm loved! All I want is to not be treated like I'm worthless! To not be all alone and have to deal with all the shit from people every day! I'm confused! Your confusing! And I don't want to break up with you, well for fucks sake I don't even know if we're together or not, but if we are I don't want to break up with you because you're all I have but I can't deal with this all! Lukas... I can't deal with you..." Philip was sobbing and he slid down the trunk of the tree to put his head in his knees.

"Philip... I..." Lukas had a few tears strolling wanderingly down his pale skin as well.

"We'll tell. Tomorrow, we'll tell. I'll scream it through the halls, with your hand in mine, and I'll yell it off the rooftop if it means to not lose you... I can't lose you either Philip..." Lukas said.

Philip looked up into his crystal eyes with confusion and disbelief written across his features.

"And sure... Maybe we'll get disapproving remarks and looks, but... I need to stop being a fucking wuss, and I need to stop treating you like crap... It's not fair to you or Rose... So we'll tell." Lukas told him and he pulled Philips trembling head to his chest.

He pulled his chin up to look at Lukas's, and they kissed. It wasn't like their normal kisses, it wasn't rough or stressful, feeling like the weight of worlds was upon them and they had to fit in everything into each kiss, every emotion, every rush of adrenaline... No... This one was sweet. Passionate... Filled with actual love...

"And hey, Rose may kiss 'good' but you kiss way better." Lukas smiled.

And with that, Philip knew, he wasn't alone...