Philkas + Jamler Oneshots

Alone

Angst piece, sorry you'll probably hate me.
Takes place around 1x04

Philip did as requested, and met up with Lukas on the school roof.

Little did he know what that would lead to...

"I'm going to have sex with Rose." Lukas said.

And that's what sent everything spiraling.

Every last hope, last essence of happiness, last trust... Just shattered...

Like a piece of glass, tossed of the top of a twelve story building, onto a concrete ground below.

Except in this case, it was Philip colliding with total mental pain...

"Did you seriously, call me up here, just to tell me that?" Philip spoke without meeting the boys crystal eyes.

"No... I need your help-"

"And why the hell would I help you?" Philip cut off in a low broken voice.

"Because you know I like you!" Lukas said.

"Do I know?" Philip whispered, finally looking up. "Because as far as I'm concerned, you care more about your fucking reputation, more about what other people think about you, than to acknowledge that I am an actual human, with real emotions, who can't be tossed around like a rag doll to your free use Lukas!" Philip said.

"Please, Philip..." Lukas asked.

There wasn't anything he could do... He knew he couldn't live like this, and he shouldn't say yes, but as much pain as this all caused him, being without Lukas at all would be way worse...

"Fine..." He agreed solemnly.

He hadn't known what Lukas wanted help with, but after he was told, he wished he had never agreed to it.

But he did, and now here he was, trekking through the woods ready to record.

If you meant ready as being ready to tear at the seams.

Once he reached where he was supposed to be, he took out the camera and looked away, his heart, was now that glass, tumbling through the air and wind, passing by every 'almost' that had ever happened, and tumbling through every memory of happiness he'd ever experienced with that person, and now, about to collide with the fiercest competitor. Darkness.

Darkness in emotion, because they were all wrecked... In love, because he didn't feel any... In peace, because it would never come... In happiness, because that had just come crumbling down...

Just never ending darkness.

Once the terrible scene was over, and Philip could finally dry his eyes of tears after holding his ears shut with the palm of his one hand and the sleeve of his shoulder, Lukas started walking over.

"Take it, take your fucking recording! Take it!" Philip cried out shoving the storage card at Lukas's chest.

"Philip I-"

"No Lukas! No! I-I can't do this!" Philip yelled.

Lukas was silent and he stepped forward.

"No! No get away from me! I can't! You don't understand! You can't say that you like me, and kiss me, and have what you want with me in private, then as soon as we're in a public eye pretend I'm some freak! Some faggot! And then go and hit and hurt me physically and mentally! You're an asshole! You're a fucking bitch! And you know for the past few weeks I've been think "just give him a little more time" "be patient" "it'll be okay he's not going to hit you again",when really it should've never happened, but I can't anymore Lukas!" Philip was full blown sobbing and yelling at the blonde now, while he just stood there staring shocked at the outburst.

"You're a jerk Waldenbeck. I was worried that being without you would hurt more than what has been happening, but now I'm seeing how completely wrong I've probably been! So go away! You don't have to pretend that you don't like me anymore. Go be with Rose, hang out with the people you call your friends, and you can all beat the shit out of me if you want, I don't give a damn anymore. That pain will either put me out of my misery, or I'll be able to tolerate because the crap this whole mess has caused will have been much worse."

"Philip please! Don't go!" Lukas was crying as well, and he reached out his arms for Philip, who yanked it back.

"No Lukas... I can't do this... I told you, I'm not going to be, your little bitch..." Philip then walked away, leaving the thousands of tears pool out his eyes as he walked to the place that brought him here.

A/N
Wow... Um... Okay.
I uh... I cried writing that, and I'm really, really sorry... I just kind of wanted to let out all the emotions from episode 4 🙁

Um, next oneshot could be considered a part 2 if you'd like, or it can be a completely different one, whatever your mind decides 😕