the fear of happiness

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its not that im afraid to smile
its not that im afraid of happiness

but in some ways
i am

because i am afraid of positivity
because i am afraid that when i rise up i fall even harder
because i know that when i am happy it never lasts

happiness?
some might say it is the key to everything
the key to success
the key to life

so how does one go on without it?

because i am afraid of the one thing i need.

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