Baby Troubles (A Comedy Avengers Fanfic)

Chapter 1 - It Started with a Boom

"Tony!"

A startled Pepper looked up to find one of Tony's fellow Avenger Sersha walk in with a demanding look on her face. She was a cheery girl in her mid-twenties who was quite friendly with Pepper.

"Hey Sersha!" Pepper smiled at her.

"Where's Tony?" Sersha asked urgently.

"He's downstairs. Oh and Sersha... who is that cute little guest you've brought along?"

Sersha held a baby in her arms who looked around a year old, or maybe even less. He was extremely cute-looking with big emerald eyes. He was currently busy playing with a strand of Sersha's hair.

Sersha shook her head grimly. "Don't ask, Pep. It's better if you don't know."

Pepper frowned and returned to her work as Sersha ran down the stairs yelling Tony's name.

"Is my hearing impaired, Jarvis?" Sersha heard Tony cry sarcastically as she stepped into his grand workshop.

"Do I run a test, sir?" the AI answered back. Despite everything Sersha managed a grin.

As Tony answered Jarvis in negative, Sersha made her way towards the billionaire who sat working on one of his metal suits.

"I need your help Tony," she said. "I'm in a mess."

"What mess? Did you find out Loki was having an affair with another mortal?" Tony said nonchalantly without looking up from his work.

"I'm serious, Tony!"

"Wait... I thought your relationship with Loki was serious."

"Will you please shut up with that, Stark, before I roast you?"

Laughing Tony looked up to say something witty but he froze on seeing Sersha. His eyes widened in disbelief. "This is worse than I thought!"

Sersha frowned suspiciously. "What are you thinking?"

Tony got to his feet and patted her shoulder sympathetically. "Everything's going to be okay!"

"Tony what is your dirty mind up to?"

"Simple! This is your and Loki's son."

"WHAT?? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR BLOODY MIND!! This is the dumbest thing anyone can come up with!"

"It's not dumb at all," Tony explained. "Look at that baby holding onto you so lovingly. And with that black hair and green eyes he's an exact replica of Loki junior." Tony smiled at his intelligence. "Plus, I have always been suspicious of your and Loki's relationship!"

Sersha glared at him. "I met Loki THREE months ago, Mr Know-it-All. And this kid looks atleast a year old!"

Tony looked at the baby sceptically. "Yes but - "

"Shut up Tony and listen to me," she cried. "This," she held out the baby towards him and sighed. "This is Loki. Not his son! This IS Loki!" She put Loki down on a table.

Tony looked incredulously at Sersha before bursting into laughter. "Sure thing, Firefly!"

"I'm serious Stark! STOP LAUGHING!" she yelled and Tony's shoe suddenly caught fire.

Yelping, Tony started kicking random objects to put out the fire. "Sersha!!" he cried. "Jarvis! Sersh - " He broke off as Sersha poured a glass of water on his shoe.

"Hope you'll take that as a lesson Stark," Sersha said seriously.

After throwing off his shoes and making sure he wasn't hurt, Tony turned to Sersha and looked carefully at the baby. "This is Loki, huh?" He stooped down to be level with the kid. "Your girlfriend here tells me you're the psychopathic god. Is it true?"

"Like a baby is going to answer you, Tony!" Sersha exclaimed.

"Well he should if he is Lo - " Tony was cut off the baby suddenly kicked him on the nose. "Ouch..." Tony stepped away from Loki, massaging his nose. "Okay... he is Loki alright. But what happened to him? And how is with you? Wasn't he supposed to be in 'heaven'?"

"Yeah he was in Asgard alright. But this morning, he came to me - as the big, original Loki - and said he wanted my help. He said he used really complex magic to get out of Asgard, such magic the likes of which he had never used before. I was too shocked to see him that I did not quite understand what he was saying or why he was acting so weird. He seemed worried and told me that something was going to happen to him... and he did not exactly know what. He asked me to take care of him when he changes. It was too strange for me to understand anything and he was speaking so hurriedly. Before I could ask him more... he changed into a baby!" Sersha ended, to find Tony was doing his best to maintain a straight face. "It's not funny Stark."

"Actually it is. But if you ask me Sersha... I think he deserved it. And maybe it's the best punishment for him. Mankind will be at peace."

"Are you crazy? We need to turn him normal."

"We?" Tony raised an eyebrow.

"Yes 'we'! I need your help."

"Okay first of all, I am not the one who's in love with Loki. So I really don't care what happens to him. And second, just in case you don't know... I'm not a magician."

"Yes Tony I know... but you can make stuff! For my sake atleast make some god forsaken device. Make a fucking time machine or something. Just do SOMETHING! Tony, please. What am I going to do with that child?"

"Sersha..." Tony said seriously, "believe me, it is really good for everyone if Loki remains as a kid. That way he won't be able to cause any troub - "

"Er... sir," Jarvis' voice broke in, "it will be wise if you keep that child away from my - "

An explosion cut off Jarvis. It was not a big explosion, yet the room was filled with smoke.

"Loki!" Sersha cried in alarm. "Clear the goddamn smoke, Jarvis."

"I'm working on it," the AI replied.

As the smoke cleared, Sersha and Tony found the cause of the explosion. The robot Tony was working on lay in pieces. Among the debris sat the baby Loki, grinning at the two 'elders', not a bit hurt by the detonation. "He he he... boom!" he laughed.

Sersha and Tony exchanged a look.

"SHIELD?" Tony said.

"SHIELD!" Sersha nodded.