Falling in the Dark | ✓

13 | Crazy

The back of Vera's red top is sticking up above her denim shorts. I can make out the fold of the fabric even from this distance, looking through the rectangular window. Suddenly, her phone slips from her hand and falls to the ground in a swift black flash. Her back is turned to me, but I can imagine the string of curse words flying off her lips as she bends to pick up the device from the sidewalk. She straightens and her shirt automatically fixes itself. I watch the wind ruffling the hair piled up at the top of her head in a messy bun. In a few seconds, she disappears from my view as she walks further away from the dorm building.

For the first time this week, Vera seemed genuinely enthusiastic about something. And that something turned out to be yet another 'juice and gold' party. This time, she told me very matter-of-factly as though she were informing me just out of courtesy, she would stay over at her friend's house for the weekend and return Sunday night. She stared at me closely as she told me this, waiting for the worry and judgment to cloud my face.

But how can I judge you, Vera, I asked myself silently, when Liam and I are sharing such a big secret behind your back?

I unlock my phone and check the screen for the time. I still have a good two hours until I have to meet Liam at the pool. I settle down on my bed with my laptop and decide to study for a while. But somehow, I end up watching video after video of puppies and kittens on YouTube until the clock at the top corner of the screen turns to 7:26 PM. Where did the time go?

With a tired sigh, I close my laptop and lean back against my pillow to place it on the desk.

Might as well go to the pool now, I think with a shrug. I find the small, polka-dotted blue bag that holds my clean swimsuit and towel. I stop in front of the mirror to brush my hair, but I can't bring myself to meet the eyes of my reflection.

Relentlessly cold wind howls in my ears as I step out of the dorm building. The sky is as black as midnight. But all around me, there is so much light that it doesn't matter that the sky is starless and moonless. The spirit of Christmas has materialized out of nowhere, filling doors, windows, storefronts and trees with bright tinsel and serial lights. Christmas is two weeks away, but I'm already anxious and excited to return home with Vera for the holidays. Every time the excitement kicks in and I start to smile goofily, I remind myself that finals loom just ahead of winter break. It works like a charm because my crazed anticipation simmers down immediately.

It takes a slow ten-minute walk to reach the big double doors that lead into the swimming pool. The dome on top of the building is dark and foreboding against the night sky. I push through the doors and loosen my coat once I'm inside. I look across the glistening pool to find a short, stocky guy dipping his legs in the warm water, the hem of his jeans rolled up to his knees. He appears to be reveling in his solitude. The solitude that I have so rudely - and unintentionally - ruined. He looks up at me and climbs to a stand with an exasperated sigh. I watch, feeling somewhat guilty and defensive, as he grabs his leather jacket from one of the benches and pushes the exit doors open with a little too much force.

Now the pool is empty. Except for the rippling water, there is complete, eerie silence. I hurry to the locker room, shower, change into my black one-piece, and stash my bag and coat into my locker. The silence and emptiness of the vast pool are disconcerting until I dive into the water. When I'm completely submerged in the warm, chlorinated world, my discomfort dissolves away.

There are over a dozen bright white lights on the domed ceiling. I count them as I float on my back, the water propelling me in slow, gentle movements. Even when I close my eyes, I can see spots of light behind my eyelids. I let my legs hang loosely, the water splashing above and beneath them.

My body is heavy and wet as I drag myself out of the pool after what feels like an eternity. As soon as droplets of warm water slide down my limbs, I start shivering uncontrollably. I hurry towards my towel slung over the nearest bench, the cool air clinging to my skin.