A Second Chance [Helsa]

15. Forgiveness

I paced back and forth outside of Anna's door for about 5 minutes before finally knocking on her door. The knocks echoed through the halls, as if they were announcing to the castle what was about to happen.

The door screeched as it was slowly peered open. I looked up to see... Kristoff?

His eyes widened for a moment before calling, "it's your sister."

"Elsa?" I heard from the bedroom, and before I knew it, I see my little sister bounding head first towards me before embracing me in a hug that almost knocked me off my feet. "Are you okay?" She murmured into my shoulder.

"Yes, I'm fine." I replied. Anna immediately retracted her embrace, and punched me in the shoulder. "Ow!" I rubbed my arm.

"You had me worried sick!" Anna glared. "Don't do that ever again!"

"I promise, I won't. I was avoiding a conversation that we so desperately need to have." I said.

"Right... come in." Anna gestured her hand towards her bedroom. I walked in, and her after me.

"I guess I'll go see if Sven is doing okay." Kristoff muttered before leaving and shutting the door behind him.

The sound of door slamming against the frame sent my nerves into panic. There was no escaping now. I was so unsure of how I felt, but I needed to speak confidently as if I did. I didn't know what exactly it was that I felt towards Hans, but I knew I felt something, something that I hadn't felt before.

"Okay, I'm listening." Anna sat down beside me. There was a condescending tone to her words, but her eyes told me she was genuine.

Where do I begin. "I'm sorry. I really am." Was all I could get out. The large amount of words I needed to say were backed up in my throat, and few were able to escape.

"That's all? You kiss my ex that had tried to kill us and then you run away from me when I try to talk to you, and lock yourself in your bedroom for a week, and all you have to say is sorry?" She spoke quickly and loudly, but didn't seem angry, yet.

"I know, it's just, ugh-" I groaned into my hands, thinking of what to say. "Okay- for starters, I didn't plan for the kiss to happen, and I certainly didn't plan to like it as much as I did. But I did. And I'm smart enough to know to be cautious." Once the blockage cleared, the words just began pouring out. "I had a dream awhile back where I had kissed Hans, and as I was distracted in the moment, he had stabbed me, and said the words 'Oh Elsa, if only there was someone who loved you.'" Anna flinched at the phrase. "And... when we had kissed the other night, I felt the pain like he had. My mind was sending off a million alerts, but when I pulled away, he just looked... hurt. We both had felt something, I know it, and I'm sure when I stopped, he probably felt like it was nothing to me. I had never kissed anyone before, but it wasn't just a kiss to me." I took a deep breath, recollecting on everything I had just said.

I waited for Anna to reply, but she was silently absorbing what I had said, so I continued. "Ever since Hans' arrival, you've questioned every asylum I've offered to him, and I appreciate it, but I hope you trust that I'm smart enough to be cautious. It's a futile effort to attempt anything more than friendship, for in just a few weeks, he'll be on a ship to...." I shut my eyes and ended the thought. I cleared my throat. "I feel he just needs a friend in the end, that's what I would want." The last sentence I spoke took me by surprise, and perhaps my subconscious knew it all along. Even if there was something there, something I hadn't felt before, there was no point in pursuing those feelings to be left heartbroken in a few weeks time. I've lost so much, and I don't want to feel that again.