Not My Choice

IIII

For days I walked, not once running into anyone. I knew from all the raids that I had been forced to go on, that Derek kept his domain well hidden in the middle of no man's land. By the fifth day, I knew that I was getting close to a clan. As I stopped for a drink of water, I found myself running my finger over the ring that the Belshes clan had given me so many years ago.

My mind drifted to the friends I had left behind and I couldn't help but wonder if they thought I was dead. I knew that if I hadn't heard or seen someone for six years and the last time I saw them was in the middle of a fight, I would assume that they were dead. Shaking my head, I stand up slowly. I hadn't eaten since the morning that Derek was killed. I had been in a hurry to put as much distance between me and his men as fast as I could. Though now, I wish I had stopped for a bite to eat.

The sound of a twig snapping had my head whipping to my left, coming face to face with a large dark brown wolf. He took a deep breath in, his eyes narrowing in on my left wrist. A deep growl rumbled from his chest as his eyes darted back up to mine. As he started shifting, I knew that I could have him dead before he realized anything was wrong. But I was leaving that part of me, the part that Derek had created, behind. I had taken so many lives in the past six years. Taken, when I had sworn to save and heal them.

Giving my head a mental shake, I bury the faces that threaten to haunt me. A man stood before me, his eyes just as hard as they had been when he first looked at me. "Where did you get that bracelet?" He growled out, anger clear in his voice.

I studied his face again, slowly recognizing him as a warrior that had always shadowed me when I was with the Blane clan. A ghost of a smile crossed my lips before disappearing. At that age, I had loved to wander off in the forest for hours. The alpha finally decided that it would be best if I had a bodyguard, just in case.

"Alpha Colin gave it to me the night before I left his clan to travel to Byres." I watched his face as he watched mine. When he realized that I was telling the truth, his eyes widened. "Jules?" Shock, disbelief colored his voice as he took a small step towards me. "Hello, my old shadow." He chuckled and rushed towards me, wrapping me in a bear hug.

"It's really you," he kept repeating over in a whisper. "You're really here." Even though he was hugging me as if he was trying to squeeze every inch of air from my lungs, he sounded as if he thought he was dreaming. He suddenly pulled back and I found myself missing the safety I felt in his arms. He had been a friend when I first came to Blane when I was a scared, lonely and very upset kid.

"Where have you been?" He started to pace a bit before me. "No one's seen you in six years and the last time anyone could remember seeing you were when a bunch of rogues attacked the Belshes clan."

"They were a part of Derek Rambo's rouges." He froze as I spoke, his eyes locking with mine. He was searching for something, I thought as we just stared at each other. "Derek Rambo attacked Alpha Dixon?" I nodded slowly. "You've been held captive by the worst our kind has to offer?" Again, another nod came from me.

Shock, surprise filtered through his eyes. "How are you alive?"

"He wanted something from me. I was useful to him, so he kept me alive." I shrugged, noticing that the cold demeanor slipped back into place. I wasn't the only one to notice, but he said nothing. Suddenly, he smiled at me and motioned for me to follow him. "There's someone waiting to meet you back at the clan house." A sudden case of nerves flood me but I follow him slowly. They wouldn't attack me, I knew that. But still, if he didn't recognize me, the chances were that no one that knew me before I was taken would know me as well.

We walked in silence and I couldn't help but wonder if he was linking with his clan, telling them who he was bringing in. My mind couldn't help but turn towards my parents, my little brother who wouldn't be so little by now. And my best friend; if I could still call him that.

I suddenly ran into him, falling backwards with a grunt as I noticed that we were on the edge of the clearing where the clan house sat. And standing before us stood every single member of the first clan that I had called my home away from home. We just stared at everyone before they slowly parted. I watched as Alpha Colin slowly made his way towards us.

When he was just a few feet before us, my old friend slowly stepped out of the way and my eyes locked with the alphas. "Welcome home, Julian." His arms embraced me as I stepped towards him. I could hear the sound of feet moving before more arms joined his. It wasn't long before I was in the dead center of the entire clan as they accepted me back into them with welcoming arms: literally.

After an hour or so, they finally moved away and Alpha Colin gave me a smile that I had often compared to my father's. "You'll stay with us for a while, rest up and the like. When you are ready, we'll take you where you wish to go." His eyes glinted with unshed tears and I knew that he was happy that I was back, that I was alive. "If you find things not to your liking, then know that you'll always have a home with the Blane clan for as long as you live."

I thanked him as well as I could. But I was tired and he could see that. So, after a quick yet filling dinner, I was shown a room that would be mine whenever I was with them. A fresh pile of clothes sat on the corner of the bed and I felt my eyes burn. In all honesty, I hadn't cried in six years. So as I blinked, the tears dried up. With the thought that I would see be with my family again, I took a quick shower and climbed into bed. And for the first time in six years, I slept without hardly any nightmares of the person I had been forced to become.