Not My Choice

VIII

I lasted a week of silence and side way glances from Daniel. But I knew that if I didn't get away from the clan that I and my wolf would eventually snap. And that was something that I could not allow. There was no telling how many innocent clan members would get hurt because they would try to protect their alpha from their healer.

Standing on the porch, I watched as Roman played with his friends. My thoughts swirling like a violent storm in my mind. Everything in my life was connected to Daniel. My gift had been discovered because Daniel and I decided to climb a tree. I was sent away from the clan and when the time came to find our mates, I wasn't here and Daniel chose another. And now, my heart was slowly dying because Daniel belonged to someone else.

Renner had made the last week almost bearable, but he was hurting just as much as I was. And Roman, my sweet little brother, needed help with his training. Shaking my head, I open my eyes to find my father watching me. "What's wrong, daughter?" The tone of his voice hinting that he knew I was deeply troubled but had no idea as to why. As much as I hated the thought of hurting him and mom, I had to leave. It was for the best of the clan.

"Dad," I said with a soft sigh, "I need to leave the clan. I can't stay here any longer." Silence followed my statement as he waited for me to tell him everything. He had always done that, especially when Daniel and I had gotten into trouble when we were growing up. "I found my mate, but he's taken. And it's killing my wolf staying here, watching the man that should have been ours making a life with another she-wolf."

"Have they marked each other? If they haven't, you still have a chance of getting him back Jules." I shake my head, the hopeful tone of his voice tearing at my already shattered heart. "They have and they have a pup. His wolf would never accept me as his mate now. No... he's made his choice. And mine has been made for me like it has been since I was six."

A deep sigh came from him as his eyes darkened. My father knew exactly what I was talking about. "Julian, that was for ...."

"My best, I know dad. I have heard that speech a million times. Why do you think that I never told anyone that I was a healer? Why do you think I took such lengths to hide what I was?" My eyes locked with his and I could see that he tried to figure out why I hide the truth. "I knew that I would be sent away from the clan, from my family and from Daniel.

"The choice that I had made for my life, my future would be taken away from me as the clan would force me into a role that I did not want. Sure, healing is a great gift for those who want it. But to me, it was a curse. And it still is a curse in most ways. Not only do I have the ability to heal someone, I could take their life as well. I've been forced to do that so many times, I have lost count." I rub my face as I look back at Roman.

"You need to send Roman to the Forsyth clan. They are the closest to you and their healer is one of the best." Confusion marred his face. "And why do I need to send my son to them?" I almost laughed at the look he had. "Roman is exactly like me, Dad, he's a healer. He's been training on his own with my old journals that I had left behind because he knew that if anyone found out, he would be sent away as well. And Roman wants to be your son, the future Beta, instead of the clan healer. It's what I wanted as well. But if you send him away, just for the summers, then no one has to know until he is ready to tell them."

"And what about you? Where will you be during all of this Julian?" I knew that he finally caught on. "I will be gone, Dad. It's for the good of the clan." I threw his favorite saying back at him. The same thing he told me the day I left to train with other clan healers. "I will be doing something that I should have done a long time ago."

With that said, I turned and entered the house. I knew that I would be gone before nightfall, and no one would be able to track me. And while everyone would be contacting the ten clans that I considered family, I would be finding a way to rid myself of the pain that wrecked havoc in my mind and heart.