Not My Choice

VII

Once we reached the clan house, I stood outside the doors, heart racing. I could hear the music and laughter softly drifting through the doors. And for a brief second, I felt like running. A firm, warm hand settled on my shoulder and I took a deep breath. Looking up, I meet Renner's gaze. "Thank you," I say softly as he reached for the door handle. 

"No problem," he mutters as I walk forward. My eyes scan the crowded room, falling on a pair of cobalt silver eyes that I had longed to see since the day I had to leave the clan twenty-two years ago. My heart felt as if it had been given a jump start as I heard my wolf howling in happiness. "Daniel," I whispered as I took a step towards him. My lips curving up in the first real smile that graced my face in ages. 

For the first time since I escaped Derek, I felt complete, free of the darkness that threatened to consume me. I had hope that my life was about to be changed for the good. But that was was shot down when Daniel's gaze lowered to the female that was holding a small blue blanket. It was as if the world had been paused. My eyes snapped back up to Daniel's and a a heavy weight pressed into my chest. 

My mate did not wait for me! I could remember when we were younger, talk after talk in our tree where Daniel had promised that he would wait for his mate, that his mate would be the most important person in his life. And yet, he had not waited. He had chosen someone who he thought was better and marked her. To make matters worse, they had a pup together. There was no way in the world that his wolf would allow him to leave this female for me, not when she birthed his first born... and a son at that. 

Suddenly, I was assaulted with cheers and laughing, people smiling at me. None of them had any idea of what just happened. A cold numbness swept over me and I felt the part of me that Derek had created take over. "Welcome home Julian," Daniel's voice rang out over everyone else's but I just nodded at him. 

"Just breathe Julian," Renner said softly as he lead me towards my parents. "What..." I started to speak but when I looked up at him, I noticed that he was looking towards the female beside Daniel. The pain that I saw in his eyes mirrored what I was feeling. His mate had not waited for him either. 

I lasted an hour of fake smiles and handshakes. Finally, I found a break when Mama started talking with several of the ladies that lived near us, exchanging stories about their children and grandchildren. Taking a quick glance around, I hurried out to the back porch, hiding behind one of the large bushes. The air was turning cooler but for once, the thought of winter did nothing to me. 

My thoughts turned towards the male that was my mate. I couldn't help but wonder why he chose her. Did he have an inkling of who his mate was, that it was me? I I know that we had been best friends and that he had cared for me when we were younger. Lifting my left wrist up, I move a few bracelets up, revealing the friendship bracelet that Daniel had given to me the day I left the clan. 

In all of those years that I had been gone, and spent with Derek, the bracelet never left my wrist. Holding on to those childhood memories had been one of the small strands that kept me sane during the worse six years of my life. But maybe...maybe it was time to let go of the past. Especially since Daniel had a family. 

The sound of the door opening pulled me from my thoughts. His familiar scent washed over me, breaking my heart even more. "Jules, I know you're out here. We need to talk." I gritted my teeth but stayed where I was. Daniel took another step towards my hiding spot but I growled softly at him. "No, Alpha, we don't." The words tasted bitter to me, but I spat them out anyway. He needed to hear them. 

"There is nothing for us to talk about." Taking a deep breath, I leaned back against the building. "I hear that congratulations is in order. And you have a son, you must be over the moon about that." For once, I was glad that I was able to control my emotions. That had been part of Derek's conditioning. "Jules..."

"I'm sorry, Alpha, but it's Julian. Jules has been dead for along time." He gave a soft whine at the detached tone of my voice and I knew that he was hurting to some degree. But he would not hurt as much as I was right then. He had marked and mated another, his wolf was complete. Daniel would have everything that we always dreamed of when we were growing up, but what would I have? Just broken dreams and a darkness that threatened to take my soul.