Ariana Grande and the Power of Daddy's Credit Card

Gimme More

Ariana had to save her boyfriend Harry Styles from Niall Horan, the devil, but she couldn't do it on her own. She picked up her phone and called the only person who could've helped her: Taylor Swift™.

"Hello?"

"Hey TayTay, it's me, Ariana Grande. I know we haven't talked in a while, but I'm calling you because I really need your help."

"Let me guess... You're failing study hall and you need me to help you out because your IQ is too low even for that?"

"No, Taylor™, that's..."

"What then? Do you think you've finally gotten skinnier than me so you're inviting me over to get humiliated? Delusional bitch."

"Actually..."

"Or your daddy finally went bankrupt so you're asking me for money because all you can afford to wear now is bra and panties? I've seen you around wearing only that lately, yep, I think I got it right this time."

"Huh? Say what you want about me, but I'll NEVER be broke. I'll always be richer than you, you pressed rat. My boyfriend Harry got kidnapped by Satan and I wanted to ask you if your squad could help me. My best friend Selena and her boyfriend Donald Trump are coming with me, but if the rest could help me too, that would be neat."

"Haha. Honey, I am Satan in person. You clearly made up this story just to tell your friends you talked to me, the most perfect and popular girl in town. I'm not helping you and my friends aren't either. As for Selena, I guess she's dug her own grave. Tell her she's out of the squad, and that I'm not voting for Donald Trump anymore. Sayonara, rat."

Taylor™ hung up, and that's when Ariana knew that she could only count on herself, her bestie and her boyfriend to save Harry.

So here they were, Ariana, Selena and Donald, right at the entrance of Santa Claus St., ready to fight Niall Horan and save the world.

Niall smelled Ariana's nauseating perfume from afar, and sent his non-American slaves to kill the trio. As soon as Donald heard "قتل! قتل! قتل!" from Satan's troops, he knew what he had to do.

"AAAAAH! MUSLIMS!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. "GET OUT OF MY COUNTRY, NOW!!!" Donald produced an energy wave so powerful that he converted all those infidels and turned them into citizens of the United States of America. They all greeted eachother and even had a BBQ, before leaving to the sound of the American anthem.

But Niall had other weapons. He started throwing microphones at the three heroes, and that's when Selena almost fainted, since microphones were her biggest fear.

"Sel, you have to fight your fear for once. If you don't want Niall to hear your voice, make him hear his own screams of pain," Ariana said to inspire her bestie.

"I... I... I can do it!" Selena grabbed a bunch of microphones and threw them back to Niall, destroying his house and throwing him on the floor.

Ariana, Selena and Donald hurried and encircled an almost unconscious Niall. This was their only chance to finally defeat Satan, and the only way was by reciting famous verses of the Holy Bible.

"Everytime they turn the lights down
Just wanna go that extra mile for you
Public display of affection
Feel's like no one else in the room but you

Gimme gimme more
Gimme (more)
Gimme gimme more
Gimme gimme more
Gimme (more)
Gimme gimme more
Gimme gimme more
Gimme (more)
Gimme gimme more
Gimme gimme more
Gimme (more)
Gimme gimme more"

As they were delivering the Holiest Hymn, "Gimme More" by Godney Jeansus Spearit, Niall started to have an epilepsy attack. In a moment, he released a dazzling light and exploded into a million pieces of diarrhea.

When Ariana, Selena and Donald got their vision back, they saw a tiny, adorable, slightly deformed figure appear from what used to be Niall's body. It was Justin Bieber.

"Thank you, Ariana Grande, for saving me from this curse. Satan possessed me a year ago and I became Niall. I couldn't control my actions. But now, thanks to you, I'm me again!"

"You're welcome! (-:"

"To show you how thankful I am, I'd like to fuck you like there's no tomorrow tonight. ;-)"

Suddenly, a tremendous fist hit Justin's cheekbone, knocking him out in a millisecond. "Nobody but me can fuck Ariana Grande like there's no tomorrow."

"Harry! My love!" Ariana couldn't have been happier, Harry was safe and untouched, and, above all, she had just saved the world from an enormous danger. "Justin, we can't have sex I'm afraid, but if you want I'll call some friends and we can have an orgy all together! :-D"

Now that the evil was defeated, Ariana, Harry, Justin, Donald and Selena walked away into the sunset, looking forward to the passionate night ahead.