You Can't Push it Underground

Sooner or Later

Frank walks back into the restaurant, shaking a little more than he probably should, and he feels really awful about leaving Gerard, but at least he's coming back. The thought had occurred to him that he's such an idiot that he could just run away to spare his dignity, but he decided against it. If Gerard weren't so fantastic Frank probably would have run away.

He sees Gerard looking down at the table with his head in his hands and Frank takes a deep breath before walking back over to him.

"It's okay, I'm okay. Minor freak out," Frank says when he steps back to the table, "but I'm okay."

"Are you trying to convince yourself or me?" Gerard asks.

"Yes. Try to remember that I'm not used to this whole dating thing, I'm still learning."

"I made him go away," Gerard says. "I really wouldn't have planned that, and I totally fucking ruined everything, but I made him go away. I'm moving on from him now, and I'm such an idiot for answering. I'm kind of a fuckup."

The people at the table next to them gasp again, and Frank rolls his eyes. That little girl is not a special snowflake, everyone has overheard someone drop the F-bomb. She's going to hear people swear all the time, and it's too late now.

"Well she was going to learn the word sooner or later," Frank says looking at them, "just be thankful he didn't say-"

"Frank," Gerard stops him warningly.

"Right, sorry," Frank turns to look at the family and the little girl who is way too scandalized by the word. She's right about at that age where swearing isn't cool yet. She'll get there.

They try to quietly return to their respective conversations, but it's obvious that both tables keep sparing glances at each other. Frank doesn't really care.

"What were you saying?" Frank asks, "Oh yeah you definitely are an idiot for answering, but I ran away so I can share the award for stupidest person at this table."

"I blocked his number," Gerard says.

"Really?" Frank can't help but be a little surprised, and... honored?

"Yeah. It's been too long. I've been on his hook for too long, I want to just be free."

"Wow, that's... wow. Congratulations?"

Gerard makes a sound that's like a nervous laugh, "It feels weird. I kind of feel like I got my freedom back, which is such a stupid thing to say, but it's true. I mean it really is a big deal for me."

"No, you should be proud. That's an accomplishment. I think you're a lot stronger than you think you are, Gerard."

Gerard blushes for the umpteenth time, and Frank is starting to realize that he has a superpower. He can make Gerard blush on command. It's actually kind of cool.

"I mean, I'd hate me if I were you. I'd be so horrible to me right now, but you're not like that, and it's pretty great that you aren't."

"I have to ask," Frank says with a gulp, "does my friendship with Brendon intimidate you?"

"What? Oh god, no! I mean, at first, but no. Especially not after hearing that story," he says.

Frank laughs, because he's thankful about that. He kind of disagrees with Brendon a little bit though. Gerard has no right to be jealous of their friendship, but it's good that he isn't anyway. That could drive a wedge between them. It's true that however nice Gerard is, Frank would cut the guy loose in ten seconds flat if he disapproved of Brendon.

"Why did you ask? Fuck, I really did shatter that moment didn't I?" Gerard says.

"No, well I mean yes. I was just wondering, I promise. You said you blocked his number, and I guess that just made me wonder. What can I say, I got a little jealous, and I wanted to make sure you didn't think Brendon was anything but my totally disgusting platonic friend. You know? Like I hoped that you weren't jealous," Frank says, and his superpower goes both ways, because now he's turning pink.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I should apologize more, but it seems that half of the times I'm talking to you, I'm apologizing. I just really shouldn't have picked up that phone," Gerard says putting his head in his hands.

"Gerard! It's fine. You don't need to feel like that. I hope you don't feel as guilty as you look. The circumstances would be different if you hadn't blocked his number, but you did. I-I'm not saying that I think that it was because of me that you did that, but I mean, I really like you right now, so it means a lot to me anyway."

"It's partially because of you," Gerard shrugs, and Frank tries to hide himself from smiling.

"It would just really suck for me to find out you didn't like Brendon, because then I'd have to leave whatever this is right here and now."

"He means a lot?"

"Well no offense, but right now this is a potential relationship. Brendon's my best friend, no potential about it."

Gerard nods, "I wish I had someone I cared that much about. Well, besides my brother."

"As an only child, Brendon is like my brother."

"I was really wrong about you, Frank," Gerard says looking happy about the words.

"What do you mean?"

"I thought you were really heartless, I thought you didn't care about anyone but yourself. You really aren't like that. You're really compassionate, and I was an idiot for not noticing that."

Frank shrugs, "well that's what I try to make people think about me, so you really can't be blamed."

"But it was stupid to think that's all there is," Gerard says, "god, I'm such a ditz sometimes."

"Yeah, but you're a cute ditz."

"Did we get over that bump?" Gerard asks, and Frank thinks about it. He smiles, because he's pretty sure they did.

"I keep making an idiot of myself in front of you, and I cannot believe you put up with it," Frank shakes his head.

"It's because I'm trusting you to put up with all the times I make an idiot of myself."

"We're just a couple of idiots."

"Hey, Frank can I ask you a question?"

"It depends on what the question is," Frank replies.

"Can I kiss you again?"

"Yeah, you can ask that question," Frank says.

"Well I just said it," Gerard responds.

"But you asked if you could ask a question. I said you could ask that question so now you have to ask it," Frank says, because he's an annoying bastard.

"Can I kiss you again?" Gerard repeats.

"Yeah you can do that," Frank grins sheepishly.

Usually it's not very romantic to ask someone if you can kiss them, but there's something so childish and innocent when Gerard did. Also Frank really wants to kiss him, so there was no way he was going to say no to that one.

Gerard is a good kisser. Frank has come to the conclusion that Gerard must be an above average kisser. He came to that conclusion quite easily, because if other people were that good at kissing, than Frank would have indulged in it more. Fuck, if other people were that good at kissing there would be prostitutes who doled out kisses instead of sex.

Maybe there's a reason that that isn't a thing. Kissing really is a million times more intimate than fucking. You fuck for fun, and ultimately the goal is to feel good physically, but that's not at all what kissing is. You can screw anybody and it'll feel good, but that's not true of a kiss. You've got to find someone you want to kiss.

Frank absolutely loves the way that Gerard's mouth feels against his, and he's pretty sure he is now floating. He's either floating or his head is full of helium, but that's not exactly impossible right now. He's pretty elated at the moment.

Frank hears the little girl at the table next to them say a very long and strung out, "ewwwwwww."

Frank decides to flip her off. She was going to learn that sooner or later as well.