She's Perfect

Trying to remember

Selena's POV

Its been a year and so much happened...well not that much. I cancelled my Revival tour to focus on my health. I went through depression and anxiety, so i went to a treatment center and now just a month ago i got released and i'm so much better now. I moved to Texas, away from LA and all the fame and just escaped my career for a bit. I didn't get in touch with any of my friends, i was spending most of my time with my family. I also got rid of all my social medias, not deleted them, but just removed the apps from my phone. So for a year i had no clue what was happening in Hollywood and in my friends' lives. 

I believe that i'm a completely different person now and i have learnt so much in a year. I made the most important decisions in my life without asking anyone for advice or knowing how it will effect others in my life. I just did what i had to do...for me....at least for once. I put myself first and had faith in God and hoped whatever happens, happens. I asked for forgiveness for all my sins. Now it's safe to say that i'm not broken anymore and i pray that it stays this way.

Most importantly, i prayed for Justin. I prayed that he gets well and forgets all the pain i made him get through. And the most important decision was when i told his mum, Fredo and Maejor that no one tells him about me and him being in love or even friends, and no one mentions my name in front of him. I told them to keep him away from social medias, so he will never get across me or my pictures. If he doesn't hear about me, he will not remember me and our memories will be forever erased from his mind, which will give him a new life without pain and regret. So if everything went well, by now he should have forgot about me and would not know who i am. 

Justin's POV

For the past year i was in a treatment center in Canada, which really helped me and i got regular visits from friends and family. I'm still in Canada and i'm going back to LA tomorrow after a year. The past year i wasn't allowed to use any social medias, not even my own phone, don't know why, but i think it was part of the treatment. I had no memory of anything for like months, but then i started to remember bits and pieces with the help of my friends and family. Now i know and remember everything......well that's what i'm told, but i don't know why but for some reason i feel like i'm missing something. Something big and crucial. Something that completes my life. Something that completes me. I feel like if i don't remember it i would die inside. I don't know why but i feel like i'm not remembering the times i was happy, the times i was me, truly me. I feel like i'm missing a lot of good memories. The things that i remember are all unclear, they don't make sense to me, there is something missing, that one thing that fits into everything and makes sense of my life. If only i knew what it is. Honestly if i don't remember it i would lose my mind. I pray every night for that one thing, praying that it would just remember it, i wish i had a clue of what it is. The past year i mostly spent praying, crying and just focusing on my mental health. I also listened to all my songs and by listening to them i was convinced that i was writing about a girl that i'm madly in love with. So i know it's a girl, but who? I just need to know her name and i will immediately remember every single thing about her.  

I spoke to Maejor and Alfredo about how i felt like i was missing something in my life, but they were no help. They're acting so weird, i think they might be hiding something. 

I had many dreams and in all my dreams there's a girl, her face is blurred out, but in the dream i'm madly in love with her. Her dark hair, her figure, her laugh. Everything about her is perfect. But i don't know her name, how she looks or how she sounds, but in every dream the same girl is there. And every single dream she's walking away from me and i'm dying. I don't know why but i feel like my dreams are trying to help me remember her. What if she's real? What if i actually was in love with her? But then where is she now? Where is she now that i need her? If she is real, then i should find something in my room in LA that's linked to her. Maybe that's why i can't remember her because if we were together we spent a lot of our time in LA. Right? Or i'm just making anything up to make myself feel better. Seriously i think i lost it. I just can't wait till i finally go back to LA.

Selena's POV

 I can't wait to move back to LA. I missed my old home and friends. I'm leaving tomorrow after a long time, it would be great to finally go back to my old life and carry on. It was my last day in Texas and all my friends and family got together and we just ate it was so fun, i'm truly going to miss everyone. Now i'm just laying down on my bed relaxing. 

I hear my phone ring. 

"Hello." I say

"Hey Selena how you doing?" It was Alfredo, i haven't spoken to him in ages. 

"I'm fine. oh my god i haven't spoken to you in ages, how are you?"

"I'm concerned about Justin." I got worried. 

"what happened, is he ok? How is her doing?"

"Selena, he remembers everything expect from you." 

"Well that's good right? That's what we planned, so it went good."

"No Selena, he's hurting, he's is great pain. He keeps telling me that something is missing, something that completes him, something that completes his life is missing. He said it's someone he's madly in love with but he can't remember their name, but he knows their are somewhere. He said if he doesn't remember that someone he will die inside."

"..............." I start crying.  "He shouldn't be feeling that, the doctors said that if he doesn't hear from me he will forget me forever, and he will never remember me."  

"Selena, you were his first love and no matter what happens to him, he will NEVER forget that, he will always know that you are there somewhere, even if he doesn't remember your name, he will always know that he was and still is madly in love with you, he can forget who he is, but will NEVER forget you. Even if he forgets, love will remember. Selena you can't take his love away form him, you can't make that choice for him. I know you mean good and you want to protect him, but you're just giving him more pain. I can't take it anymore, i can't see him like that. Everytime i go to see him, he's in his room crying. Selena please just come back to him. I know you're scared that you will make they same mistakes, but it's different now. While he was remembering everything about the past, he was disappointed at himself, he couldn't believe he did some of those things, and those things were things he did to himself not to you, so think about it if he remembers all the things he did to you he will be so broken, he's different now, believe me. He truly love you, and only you Selena. Please don't make me hide you from him. Please." 

I disconnect the phone. I bury my face in my pillow and cry my eyes out. Why? Why is love so complicated? What do i do now? I can't bare to think that Justin is in pain or broken. I can't see him cry, i can't make him go through this alone. I should have been there for him. I should have stayed with him. This is all my fault. We were doing so good without each other, he had his Purpose, i had my Revival we were focusing on our careers. But then i let my heart get in between and went back to him. This is all my fault. Now i need to fix this. But how?

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