Without A Doubt, You're All I Dream About

Chapter 4

ONE YEAR LATER, COLY'S P.O.V:

"FUCK!" I scream as loud and as long as I can at the sea. I'm finally letting all of the pent up frustration out, frustration I've been holding in for years. This is for my Dad, my Mom, my step-Dad, my brother, Daniel, Mr and Mrs Gaskarth. This is for Alex.

He moved away last year, to Maryland. I saw him once, since. It was at Daniel's funeral, which was held in our hometown. We kept in touch at first over the summer, or I should say 'I kept in contact over the summer' - Alex didn't really try. I got the feeling he didn't want to talk to me anymore. One day, I tried to call him, but his phone was disconnected. That broke my heart. My step-Dad got worse with me, which was probably due to the fact I was around more often without Alex to keep me busy. I was expelled from school after the "Great Escape" as Alex had christened it.

One year later and I here I am in my new home in Baltimore, standing on the beach in the rain, screaming obscenities at the sea. I moved here this summer after my step-Dad broke my ribs. I now live with my brother; my Mom washed her hands of me. I didn't exactly make things easy on her, I suppose. I was kicked out of the new private school they put me in and I almost never went to the public school I chose to go to (which I was also eventually thrown out of). I preferred to spend my time seeing what trouble I could get into with Jared, my sort-of-boyfriend. I got arrested twice and brought home countless times by my Dad's old cop friend. I got drunk a lot; I got high a few times. I pierced my nose and dyed my hair pink. Which was more about pissing people off, in all honesty. It's my natural dark brown once again, I couldn't be bothered constantly re-dyeing it. But yeah, I wasn't the easiest of kids to deal with. Which was probably another reason the beatings increased.

"FUCK!" I scream at the sea again. This is amazing.

"Eh, are you alright?" a male voice asks from behind me. I whirl round to come face to see this lanky guy, over six feet tall, freakishly skinny, kinda awkward, with a black fringe sticking out of the baseball cap he's wearing.

"What makes you ask?" I ask sarcastically, smiling wryly at this guy.

"You're screaming at the sea, at eleven pm..."

"Sure, it sounds weird when you say it like that," I retort and he laughs. He has a nice laugh.

"Are you from here? I don't think I've seen you around before,"

"I just moved here. Today, actually,"

"Really? Jack Barakat," he tells me, sticking out his hand. I raise an eyebrow at it, before putting my tiny hand into his and shaking it.

"Coly Carson,"

"Well, Coly Carson how would you like a beer?" he asks, holding up a six-pack.

"So I can't come to the beach to scream at the sea, but you can come to the beach alone to drink beers?" I ask, laughing a little.

"Yes. This is my 'thinking-spot', do all my best thinking here. Anyway, you want one or not?"

"I'd love one, Jack Barakat," I reply.

"I'm from Lebanon originally, you know,"

"That's... Good to know," I laugh taking the beer he hands me. We sit on the sand beside each other and talk a while.

"How old are you, Coly?"

"I'm seventeen in November," I say.

"So... You're sixteen?" he laughs.

"Yeah," I laugh, realising I did word it ridiculously.

"So you'll be in my grade at school. I just turned seventeen this summer,"

"Happy late birthday, Jack," I reply. We'd already figured out we'd be going to the same school in two days time.

"Thank you!" he says and I drink the final sip of my beer. He's already on his second can, he hands me my second now.

"What do you do, Jack?"

"Huh?"

"You know, for fun,"

"I'm in a band," he says, winking at me.

"Really? Cool. What d'you play?"

"Guitar. I sing back up, too. We're gonna be famous one day,"

"I used to have a friend who sang and played guitar," I say quietly, feeling my stomach churn as I think of how much I miss Alex. Of everyone I've ever lost, losing Alex was the worst. Even if he wasn't really gone. It still kills me.

"So what do you do for fun?"

"So far? This," I smile at Jack who smiles back.

"Well, what did you do?"

"I didn't really have much of a life... I was too busy being hung up on a guy who completely forgot about me. And in between being arrested and being beaten up, there wasn't much time for fun," I say, bitterly.

"What?" Jack asks, looking nervous.

"Ignore that. We just met; you don't need to know that shit,"

"Are you, like, a murderer?" he asks and I burst out laughing.

"No! I just do stupid things to feel alive sometimes,"

"What'd you get arrested for?"

"The first time was for vandalism," I finish. It wasn't vandalism, it was art. "And the second time for being drunk and disorderly and criminal damage," I start. I got so drunk I decided it would be a really good idea to smash up my step-Dad's car. Who had me arrested, of course.

"Whoa, looks like we've got a badass here!" Jack says pointing at me and smiling.

We finish up the six-pack and the second one. Eventually, we're both pretty drunk. We stumble up the beach, clinging onto each other for support and laughing our heads off. We get to the top and Jack looks at me, grinning.

"Jack...?" I ask, giving him my puppy-dog eyes.

"Coly...?" he replies, matching my look.

"I don't remember where I live now..." I tell him, blushing. He bursts out laughing and I glare at him. He pulls me into a huge bear hug and I give him my address. We walk to my house together and when I get there, I fumble with the keys for a good twenty minutes. My brother isn't here yet. I've moved in, but he won't be back until tomorrow. I get the door open, standing on the doorstep smiling stupidly at Jack.

"So..." he says.

"Thanks for bringing me home,"

"It was nothing,"

"You, eh, you wanna come in?" I ask, suddenly shy. I like Jack. But I'm not sure if it's the alcohol or me that thinks so.

"That'd be cool," he replies and I lead the way upstairs, grabbing a bottle of vodka and cherry soda as we pass through the kitchen.