Conquering Your Depression

My Friend's Example part 2: Helen gets Worse

When I called Helen the next day because she didn't come to school again her mother answered her phone & asked me not to call Helen for a few days 'because her daughter doesn't feel good & is trying to rest - but they will let me know when she feels better'...

But as Helen later told me - she wasn't 'resting' at all ! - She was just lying in her bed for hours staring at the ceiling or at the wall, or just closing her eyes hoping that she would fall asleep - but she couldn't. She didn't understand why she Couldn't Sleep if she Was So Tired! - I also didn't understand it at first - cause it was logical for us that 'when you are tired you fall asleep & then you wake up & feel better again' - that's how it used to work... - Till then.

So we both saw that 'something was wrong' - but we had no idea what!. Her parents also didn't know that - they only saw that their daughter 'was suffering, wasn't pretending & needed help' so they went to their family doctor with her first - hoping that she would get some medicine that would help her sleep well again. & she got it - but it had strange side effects!

A day after visiting her doctor her parents called me & told me that 'the medicine she got helped her fall asleep & she slept all night at last, after almost 2 Sleeples Weeks!' I was really happy to hear that! - I thought she would be ok since then, but it wasn't the end of her problems yet.. I was even happier when they called me again 2 days after that & asked me 'If I could visit Helen because she wants to see me'. Of course I visited my friend ( I wanted to visit her even earlier, but then they told me to 'wait till she feel better' ). 

When I came to Helen's house her father opened the door & when I said 'Good afternoon' to him - he answered 'Good afternoon, Lily - we're glad that you came, our daughter wanted to see you today'. I answered 'And I want to see her too - how is she?'. Her mother answered 'Not very well yet - but she will surely feel better when you talk to her'. I said 'Of course - where is she?'. They answered 'In her room... - she rarely gets out of it now. We even have to carry her meals there - but she hardly eats anything'. That worried me but I was trying to smile when I was visiting my friend - but that wasn't easy because she really looked 'depressing' then. I knocked her room door & asked her 'Hi Helen, it's me, your parents said that you wanted to see me'. She answered 'Yes, come in, Lily' so I entered her room & saw her: She's always been slim - but now she looked Skinny as if she lost some weight ( Idk where from ) - probably because of her eating problems. Her skin looked grey, her face looked tired & her hair was as messy as ever before! And she was wearing Pajamas in the Afternoon - that only happened when she was really ill...! 

She must have noticed my worried expression because she tried to smile & told me 'I know I don't look my best today... - Sorry that I didn't get dressed today or didn't even get up to greet you as usual' ( When I was visiting them before - it was always Her who opened the door & greeted me in the hall ). But I could see that she was unwell - so I just answered 'I understand. And it's your house - so you don't have to always put your daily clothes on if you don't want to'. She answered 'I will when I feel better'. I smiled at her & answered 'I know'. And then I looked around & noticed that her room was 'darker than usual' because All the Window Shades were pulled down & it was s nice Sunny Day! - She's always liked Sun so I just asked her 'Why is so dark here? - Let's let some sunlight in'... - I pulled one window shade a bit up & let some sunbeams into her room & Helen's reaction Really Surprised Me! :/ ... - She Covered her eyes with her both hands & called 'No! Please no Sunlight! - It hurts my eyes!'. 

I asked her 'Since When?' :/ & she answered 'Since a few days when I started taking those pills my doctor gave me... - I think it's a side effect or something'. I tried to joke to cheer her up 'So they gave you pills that are slowly turning you into a Vampire? :)' ( We both liked horror movies, especially Vampire movies - so we knew that all the vampires in them were afraid of sunlight because it was harmful for them ). Helen reacted 'like a vampire' - she started to have Photophobia - just like those movie vampires had that's why I compared her to them & she would surely laugh at my joke if she felt better but she hardly smiled & answered 'I hope not'.

I pulled her window shade down again & she said 'Thanks, I didn't want to cause any trouble'. I answered 'And you didn't, no problem :) '. I sat on a chair next to her & she kept talking 'You're just saying that because you're my friend & you always try to be nice, but I know that I am causing much trouble to my parents now, they are not saying it - but I just know it'. I answered 'They are just worried cause you're unwell'. She said 'But I don't want them to be worried, I don't want to cause any more trouble to anyone!... - So maybe it would be better if I just stopped existing? - They all would feel relieved then'. I told her 'Stop saying that, they love you! - They would miss you! - I also would'. She answered 'Maybe you would for some time, but then you would forget me & live your own life'. I was worried about her, I didn't know why she suddenly started to talk about her will to 'stop living' - she's always been so full of life & happy before. I couldn't find an explanation for the things that were happening to her.

I looked at the empty wall of her room & asked her 'Where are your posters with horses?' ( She's always liked horses, she was collecting books, posters & postcards with them cause that was her hobby - she liked to talk about it before, & I like all kinds of animals so I was often asking her to tell me about some horse breed I didn't know as well as she did ). I was really surprised when she said 'I threw them away'. I asked her 'Why?' & she answered 'Cause it was stupid & childlish & I got bored with them - I didn't like those posters anymore, so I got rid of them'. 

( So she was a 'classic example' of a person suffering from severe depression: having sleeping & eating problems, being too weak to get up & take care of her appearance, not being able to concentrate, giving up her hobby, losing her sense of humour & having thoughts about 'stopping existing' - luckily she didn't have any suicidal attempts, cause she got help early enough, she was just blaming herself for 'causing trouble to everyone' & thinking that 'their lives would be easier without such a trouble as her' ). 

I was her only friend she wanted to see & talk to during that time because she knew that I understood her condition because I always understood her & I was tactful enough not to tell her things like 'Eww, you look Awful now! - Get dressed & do something with your hair, Girl. And Wash Yourself at last - You stink'! - as some other classmates could say, because it was just what they would see... & smell. 

I didn't mind the fact that she stopped dressing up or washing herself for some time itself, cause as she was saying 'She was not strong enough to do all those things then. Even to clean her teeth'. I only was worried about Her & was doing My Best to Support Her & Help Her - & to find out 'What Happened To Her!' ... & I managed! :)