Collection: Book titles everyone should know exist.
1. "Games You Can Play With Your Pussy: And Lots of Other Stuff Cat Owners Should Know" -Ira Alterman
2. "Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini" -Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg M.D.
3. "A Guide To Understanding Men: If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start with Your Legs" -Big Boom
4. "Macho Sluts" -Patrick Califia
5. "Come on Shore and We Will Kill and Eat You All" -Christina Thompson
6. "Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School" -Benjamin Franklin, edited by Carl Japikse
7. ''You Are Worthless: Depressing Nuggets of Wisdom Sure to Ruin Your Day'' -Scott Dikkers
8. "Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations" -Al Franken
9. "Be Bold with Bananas" -Crescent Books
10. "Reusing Old Graves" -Douglas Davies and Alastair Shaw
11. ''Cooking with Pooh'' -Walt Disney Company
12. ''Natural Bust Enlargement with Total Mind Power: How to Use the Other 90% of Your Mind to Increase the Size of Your Breasts'' -Donald L. Wilson
13. ''Goodbye, Testicles'' -Anne Welsh Guy
14. ''People Who Don't Know They're Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It'' -Gary Leon Hill
15. ''Butter Safe Than Sorry'' -Tamar Myers
16. ''Bombproof Your Horse'' -Rick Pelicano
17. ''How To Shit In The Woods'' -Kathleen Meyer
18. ''Do-It-Yourself Coffins'' -Dale Power
19. ''The Penetrator'' -Chet Cunningham
20. ''How To Cook Husbands'' -Elizabeth Strong Worthington
21. ''Still Stripping After 25 Years'' -Eleanor Burns
22. ''What's Your Poo Telling You?'' -Josh Richman and Anish Sheth, M.D.
23. ''E-mails from a Madman: namdam a morf sliame'' -Jarod Kintz
24. ''The Mandrake Hotel and Resort to violence if necessary'' -Jarod Kintz
25. ''This Book is Not for Sale'' -Jarod Kintz
26. ''I Should Have Renamed This'' -Jarod Kintz
27. ''There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't'' -Jarod Kintz
28. ''At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.'' -Jarod Kintz
29. ''This Book Title is Invisible'' -Jarod Kintz
30. ''This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)'' -Jarod Kintz
31. ''How to construct a coffin with six karate chops'' -Jarod Kintz
32. ''The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.'' -Jarod Kintz
33. ''Gosh, I probably shouldn't publish this.'' -Jarod Kintz
34. ''This is the story my great-grandfather told my father, who then told my grandfather, who then told me about how The Mythical Mr. Boo, Charles Manseur Fizzlebush Grissham III, better known as Mr. Fizzlebush, and Orafoura are all in fact me and Dora J. Arod, who sometimes shares my pen, paper, thoughts, mind, body, and soul, because Dora J. Arod is my pseudonym, as he/it incorporates both my first and middle name, and is also a palindrome that can be read forwards or backwards no matter if you are an upright man in the eyes of God or you are upside down in a tank of water wearing purple goggles and grape jelly discussing how best to spread your time between your work, your wife, and the toasted bread being eaten by the man you are talking to who goes by the name of Dendrite McDowell, who is only wearing a towel on his head and has an hourglass obscuring his “time machine”--or the thing that he says can keep him young forever by producing young versions of himself the way I avert disaster in that I ramble and bumble like a bee until I pollinate my way through flowery situations that might otherwise have ended up being more than less than, but not equal to two short parallel lines stacked on top of each other that mathematicians use to balance equations like a tightrope walker running on a wire stretched between two white stretched limos parked on a long cloud that looks like Salt Lake City minus the sodium and Mormons, but with a dash of pepper and Protestants, who may or may not be spiritual descendents of Mr. Maynot, who didn’t come over to America in the Mayflower, but only because he was “Too lazy to get off the sofa,” and therefore impacted this continent centuries before the first television was ever thrown out of a speeding vehicle at a man who looked exactly like my great-grandfather, who happens to look exactly like the clone science has yet to allow me to create'' -Jarod Kintz
a/n: i was inspired to do this chapter by Jarod Kintz and his [brilliant] book titles, but i really should've made his a seperate chapter from the rest.
yes, the last one really was the book's real title [and summary]
ALSO, i went back to the chapters in the beginning and added more quotes to the ones that were one quote per chapter because i didn't like how those were one by one. So if you want you can go back and check them out. i haven't done every single one yet, but i will try to.
the video on the side is Jarod Kintz talking [there's no sound so it's subtitled] but it just makes me love him more. you should watch it!
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Quotes To Remember
RandomWhen you are bored, in need of some creatively hidden advice, or just looking for cool quotes, flip through this and your problems will be solved! Warning: the accuracy of the things mentioned in this blurb are not guaranteed. [I do not own any...
