||Chapter Forty|| The one with all the awkwardness

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Collection: Quotes from the tv show Awkward. [Dedicated to @TheMoonInTheSky]

1. Tamara: Jenna, why are you holing up in here?

Jenna: It just feels more comfortable in the toilet since I feel like shit.

2. Sadie: What are we gonna do? Be a three-way freakshow where you hold my hips as I slow dance with Austin?

Lissa: Oh, that sounds fun! 

3. ''If you tell anyone I’m having this soft side moment I swear I will cut you.'' -Sadie 

4. Ally: Suck it up, big girls don’t cry.

Sadie: Whore.

Ally: Bitch. 

5. Jenna: Just act casual.

Tamara: Trust me, I know what I’m doing [Tamara awkwardly waves at Jake who instantly scowls at her] oh fuck me, I don’t know what I’m doing.

6. ''Sometimes my mouth keeps moving before I can even think about what’s coming out of it.'' -Tamara 

7. ''Do you think people will know I spelled president with a z on purpose? No one’s gonna vote for me if they think I’m a dumbass.'' -Tamara

8. ''As much as it pains me to say your essay is awesome, I am impressed. It is way more barbaric than anything I could’ve written.'' -Sadie

9. ''Jenna, you have a problem: you’re an asshole.'' -Sadie

10. ''I bet that Kevin is a real stingray in the sack.'' -Val

11. ''So you’re watching television about not watching television. That’s really smart.'' -Sadie

12. Sadie: I don’t know what’s worse: living with a budget or living with a bitch.

Lissa: I’d say the budget, you live with yourself every day. 

13. Jenna: No, this is me. They should mind their own business, and, frankly, so should you. So go back to slumming it with your rebound skank.

Matty: And get your facts straight Jenna, I was slumming it with you.

14. Ally: And you, little bitch, are the best argument for abortion.

Sadie: Agreed!

15. ''I’m gonna smother her with a pillow tonight.'' -Ally

16. Sadie: Collin is gonna leave you high and dry just like you did with Matty. What goes around comes around, and karma’s a bitch.

Jenna: Is that why you’re broke and homeless?

17. ''Honestly, I’m shocked and thrilled that you’re transferring.'' -Val

18. ''What kind of fucked up, post-apocalyptic world do we live in where Jenna gets to call the shots?'' -Sadie

19. ''I punch the guy one time and you Chris Brown-ify me.'' -Tamara

20. ''If you ever kill me, I can only hope you’ll keep our murder baby.'' -Austin

21. ''No, like a modern potato that’s jacked and stacked on steroids.'' -Tamara

22. Jenna: I can’t go back.

Matty: Are you breaking up with me?

Jenna: No, we’re breaking up with each other because this must have happened for a reason, and I can’t look at you and wonder if you still see me as the girl you fell in love with before this happened.

23. ''This is Bonkey Kong.'' -Tamara

24. Jenna: The Mafia knows?

Ming: Is that a rhetorical question? Of course we do! We're magic.

25. Jenna: We accidentally made out.

Tamara: Accidentally?!

26. ''Get your mind out of the gutter, we're going to Sea World!'' -Lacey

27. ''I don't want her to beat herself up for the rest of her life. She'll end up in porn.'' -Sadie 

28. Jenna: Because you're embarrassing me and I have never embarrassed you.

Matty: Oh really? What about the start of sophomore year when everyone thought you tried to kill yourself?

Jenna: I didn't try to kill myself.

Matty: I know that now, but I didn't know that then. I thought it was because of me.

Jenna: You? Why you?

Matty: Because you had your accident that same day we slept together. How do you think that f**ked with my head? You didn't even try to explain it to me. Instead you obsessively stared at me from a distance for weeks. What was I supposed to think?

Jenna: You didn't want to be seen with me!

Matty: Because I was mortified!

29. ''That's fifty shades of cray.'' -Tamara

30. ''Aw, it is so sweet of you to take an interest in the bottom feeders of the social aquarium, but I cannot discuss other student's problems.'' -Val

31. ''Ugh, I wish our boyfriends would break up.'' -Tamara

32. ''It was Halloween, that special time of year where students everywhere honored the dead by dressing as sluts.'' -Jenna 

33. Sadie: Jenna I love your costume.

Jenna: I'm not wearing a costume.

Sadie: Really? Because you are the best loser I've seen all morning.

34. ''My last pre-sex selfie.'' -Tamara

35. ''Am I having a seizure or did some weird stuff just go down?'' -Jake

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