thunderstorms & you

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the thing about thunderstorms-
is that I find it
terrifying
not as therapeutic as some make it out to be
it's a combination of the loudest symbols and
the smell of rain at midnight.
it is the thought of you
perhaps huddled up in a corner
alone, yet happy
(happier, in fact)
without me by your side.
maybe it isn't the sounds
or the sight
the bright lightning like the feeling of loss
the tightening of your chest,
and that feeling in the pit of your stomach you can't seem to push away
when you come across something you didn't want to see,
maybe everything
associated with
thunderstorms
scares me.
like the memory of being by your side at midnight while a sappy movie plays during a thunderstorm
there now lies
the cavity where you used to be
and the movie still playing
and the bedside lamp
still on-
the emptiness beside me.

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