drowning

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I used to be so so afraid of the water
I was scared that the ocean would swallow me up-
Let me drown in the deep end,
And no one would find me
Because a rock is tied to my ankles, and
I am suffocated within the bottomless pit
Of the blue.
I had always thought it was the worst way to die.
Years would pass, eventually I would be forgotten,
Along with my rotting skin and bones.
My algae-coated body would be home to many then.
And oh, how afraid I was of the fucking ocean, of swimming, of dying in the unknown.
Yet, yet, yet,
I am so terribly ashamed
It took me 15 years
To realize
I didn't need water
To feel like I'm drowning.

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