Loving The Sociopath (Johnlock)

Bullet for My Valentine

It was Valentine's Day and John still hadn't returned home. Two days previous John had walked out on Sherlock, saying that he'd had enough of him. What ever had he done?

All Sherlock had done was place an eyeball in the microwave...and switched the microwave on...and watch the eyeball explode...but that was beside the point! All he had done was perform a simple experiment, which he would have cleared up after he had finished, and John practically blew up!

A few weeks before, John and Sherlock had decided to do something together Valentine's Day as, much to John's dismay, neither of the men had dates.

For months both John and Sherlock had felt something towards each other, and the near kisses and constantly finding ways for them to have contact proved to each man that they were in fact attracted to one another. John was handling the situation much better than Sherlock, however. He knew that the detective was 'married to his work' and 'wasn't looking for anyone' so he thought that Sherlock would reject him, therefore the doctor pushed any unnecessary feelings out of his head.

Sherlock on the other hand was totally and completely freaking out. He was a sociopath, for God's sake! He wasn't meant to feel happiness, let alone 'love'! He'd noticed John's change of behaviour around him for a while, making the detective convinced that the doctor liked him the same way. Sherlock then came to the decision that he was going to ask the doctor 'the question'.

So when John stormed out of their shared flat, his heart broke. He had so much planned for Valentine's Day evening. A perfect dinner in a quiet restaurant - which was a 15 minute drive away from 221b. After the meal they'd go for a walk along the Thames in the moonlight before heading back to the flat. Then, finally, Sherlock would have plucked up enough courage to ask John if he would perhaps consider going out with him...he would find the proper words for it later.

***

It was now 4 o'clock and John still hadn't returned. Their dinner reservations were booked for 6:30, meaning John had 2 ¼ hours to come back, get dressed and get in the taxi with Sherlock. The detective decided to go to his mind palace and into the room labelled 'John'.

After what felt like hours, what were only mere minutes, Sherlock's phone vibrated; indicating a text. He reached into his left inside pocket and grabbed the devise.

One Unread Message

from John

Sherlock unlocked his phone and read through the text from John.

Sherlock,

I'll be popping over in five minutes to collect my things. I'll then be leaving. I've paid my half of the rent to Mrs Hudson, so don't worry about that.

I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore. Goodbye Sherlock- JW

In that very moment, Sherlock's heart sunk into his stomach. He gripped his phone out of anger and threw the stupid thing at the window, making the glass and phone shatter into millions of tiny pieces and shards; just like the detectives heart.

Sherlock stood up and waked over to where the window once was, and looked down to see 5 passers-by staring at the phone, then at the glass, then at the flat, then at him. Sherlock shut the curtains to cut himself away from the world.

It then hit him. Without John, he was nothing. He hated everyone and everything, and everything and everyone hated him too. He had no one in this world other than John.

And John was leaving him.

What was the point in living if you have nothing to live for? The consulting detective thought. He sauntered into his room and rummaged through the drawers next to his bed. When his hand collided with the cold metal object, Sherlock lifted it out of the draw. He slowly made his way to the living room and found a pen and paper. On it he wrote:

'I'll always love you Doctor John Watson. - SH x'

He rested the note on the coffee table in front of him. Shakily, the detective picked up the gun with a shaky hand and rested his index finger on the trigger. He held the muzzle of the handgun again his temple. He looked up slowly and then jammed his eyes shut.

BANG

Sherlock felt a searing pain in his head and he felt as though his body was being crushed. He immediately peeled open his eyes and realised he was in fact lying back-down on the floor, with a certain army doctor draped over him.

"Sherlock!"

"John?"

"Sherlock!"

"John..."

"Sher-"

"Alright John. Sherlock's an unusual name, so don't wear it out." Sherlock saw the handgun over by the hole in the wall (where the window used to be).

John clambered off Sherlock to then fold his arms and glare at the consulting detective. This intimidating gesture would have worked if Sherlock hadn't then decided to stand up as well, and being 4 inches taller than John; he towered over the doctor.

"What the hell do you think you were doing!" John raised his voice.

"I..I-"John tapped the floor with his foot.

"I'm waiting, Sherlock"

Sherlock straightened up his suit and cleared his throat. If he was ever going to say it, he would have to say it now.

"You said you were leaving, and honestly? I can't live without you, John. The minute I read that text, the world around me crashed and I felt like I had no meaning. Which is true: without you I have no meaning.

"The thing is John...I am absolutely, head-over-heals in love with you. Always have been, always will-"

John cut off the rambling detective with his lips, and Sherlock responded almost immediately.

"I love you too, Sherlock." John moved his hands to sweep away the chocolate curls that dangled in front of Sherlock's gorgeous eyes.

"John, will you..."

"Hell yes." John knew what Sherlock was about to say so he replied. Sherlock beamed and leant in to kiss his boyfriend passionately.