Loving The Sociopath (Johnlock)

Dear John - Letters for Lovers Part 1

Dearest John,

As you are aware, I have returned and I am not dead. From what I understand, the reason you kicked me out of the flat is due to a strange release of anger, which is highly understandable as I did leave you heartbroken and depressed for two years. Sorry about that.

Now, if you are wondering where I am, I will tell you now that I am currently residing at Mycroft's house, which is, quite honestly, hellish. However, within the past 3 weeks staying in this hell-hole, I have learned a great deal about your current situation. As you know, Mycroft knows everything. 

You are probably raising your eyebrow and pulling a confused face whilst reading this, which is 100% understandable - but I have bearly even said what I have wanted to say for some time now.

Lets start off with something simple. 

John, I had to leave. I had too, I had no choice. You see, when I was on that roof top - before I phoned you - Moriarty told me quite a few things. One of those many things was that he had snipers aimed at Mrs Hudson, Lestrade...and you. The only way I could save you was by jumping. If I jumped, his 'people' wouldn't shoot. I obviously did the only thing I could do and jumped. 

I know that I caused you hell for years. And, my dear John, I know I caused you pain. 

Remember the 11th time you came and visited my grave? Yes I was there. Remember that day? It was pouring down with rain. It was cold, it was wet...but you still came. You told me about your day like you had done before, you told me how much everybody missed me, and you told me that you wanted me to come back. You also told me you loved me. When I heard that, I wanted to jump out that damn tree I was hiding in and hold you. I wanted to hold you until the end of time, but I couldn't. I am so sorry John, I really am. 

You see, I have known you were special since you described my deduction of you as 'extraordinary'. You have stuck by my side through thick and thin, and even when you knew there was no way of me coming back, you carried on believing in me. For that, I thank you. 

I am in love with you John Hamish Watson. I'm not going to deny myself anymore, because I love you more than words can say. Do you want to know why I deleted my knowledge of the Solar System? It was because I needed to a space in my mind to put information about you in. I needed to remember than your favourite colour is red and I needed to remember that you don't take sugar in your coffee. All the things I would usually find tedious about another person were important to me, as the little bits of information about you meant the world to me. They still do. John, I am a rediculous man. Seriously, I solve crimes as an alternative to getting high. But I would give up everything to make you happy. 

I love you, and I hope you love me too.

Yours forever,

Sherlock