Ludwig didn't know how much longer he and his co-workers could keep it up. From the lame Clark Kent-esque glasses disguise to having a mouth the size of Texas Alfred F. Jones was the absolute worst at keeping his 'secret' identity an actual secret.
"HEY BOSS SORRY I'M LATE I WAS DOING SOMETHING SUPER IMPORTANT!" Ludwig winced at his co-worker's loudness. All eyes in the meeting room were on him. Ivan, their boss, was a terrifying man in all respects even when he didn't try to be. So when Alfred declared he was late for what had to be the millionth time (how he wasn't fired was beyond Ludwig) nobody was happy. Alfred somehow immune to the downright murderous aura Ivan seemed to radiate off of him took his seat with the same dumb grin he always had plastered on his face.
"And what exactly," Ivan said dangerously, "was so important?"
Alfred froze. Ludwig sighed.
"Uh, ya see I was. Um. Working. I mean. Studying-"
"He was helping me with a project until late last night," Gilbert said cooly from across the table. "The kid was up late and probably just slept in." It disturbed Ludwig how well his brother could lie sometimes- most times, actually-but today it was useful seeing as Ivan merely glared at Gilbert (he ignored it) and resumed on with the meeting.
"Thanks, Gil," Ludwig heard him whisper from across the room.
At this point Ludwig wanted to slam his head against a wall and judging from the look on his brother's face, he did too.
"Breaking news in the town square-" Ludwig watched as Alfred's head shot up from his lunch which only moments before had his complete attention, "A group of people- from what our sources have said looks like a cult have been rioting in the streets. The leader seems to be a young man in his early twenties-"
"Hey, Nat," His ears perked up as he watched as his brother, yet again, tried and failed to 'pick up' Natalya Arlovskaya a pretty (understatement) young woman about Gilbert's age who had a thick- Ludwig would guess Russian- accent and a cold disposition (also an understatement).
"Beilschmidt," She said. "I told you not to call me that."
"Aw c'mon everyone wants a cool nickname from an awesome person like me-"
"I don't want a nickname and you're the furthest thing from awesome I can think of." She said.
"Politics."
"Fine, you're the second furthest thing from-"
"Climate change."
"I will walk away."
"Then why don't you- HEY! I didn't actually think you'd actually walk away!" Gilbert followed Natalya out of the break room and after a few seconds of boredom Ludwig's attention turned back towards the news.
"The rioting has been intensifying and police cannot seem to get it under control- What? He has?-Viewers we now have intel on the man leading the cult a one, Arthur Kirkland. He is twenty-seven years old and has been the suspect in many unusual-"
Alfred's chair shot back.
"Ludwig cover for me!" Alfred said abandoning his lunch, "I have to, uh, pick up my dry cleaning! Be back soon!"
How could he be such an-
Ludwig sighed. Honestly, he didn't care.
...
Why was this his life right now?
He was risking his ass covering for a goddamn superhero who can't keep his own secret identity a goddamn secret. Honestly how hard could it be? A teenaged girl was able to keep a secret double life for four fucking seasons and-
Why was he citing a Disney show as the basis for how to live a double life?
The point was, surely a superhero could manage his secret life more efficiently.
"You're going to what?" Gilbert said staring at him with a mixture of humor and disbelief dancing in his red eyes. Natalya remained silent, as per usual for her, but the incredulous look on her face spoke volumes.
You've got to be kidding.
"I'm going to start managing Alfred's 'double lifestyle' so it runs more efficiently."
Gilbert laughed. "I can't believe this. You're going to actually try and micromanage a superhero. Do you realize how insane that sounds."
"Yes."
"I raised a control freak."
"You are what you raise." Gilbert laughed again and flicked him off.
An hour before his shift ended Alfred returned.
"Thanks, Lud, I totally owe you one-"
"Yes, you do, but that's not important." He said. "What is important is you finishing the past month of work you've been falling behind on before the quarterly inspection reveals exactly how little you've accomplished. Alfred's usual lopsided grin fell into a pout.
"But I've been really-"
"Irresponsible," Ludwig said interrupting the long string of flimsy excuses. "But that's going to change. You did well taking care of the riots but that one guy- Kirkland, right? He escaped. But before you track him which you are going to finish this work because from now on I am your manager and you are sticking to the schedule I make for you. Understood?"
Alfred just stared.
"How did you-"
"Obvious. Everyone here knows- probably even Ivan suspects by this point."
He made a silent 'oh'.
"It was the glasses wasn't it."
"Probably the worst disguise ever."
A/N: I should be working on a paper and I finish 2 fan-fictions I started and never finished in 1 day. Hope you enjoy.
