Bloom, Shifting

13.

13.

I couldn't make it up the stairs.

Elliot had to pick me up,

a feat I did not think she could conquer.

It's okay,

she whispers into my hair

let me take care of you.

I can only nod

as my words have deserted me

left me struggling to form anything

they sit at the back of my throat

choking me like

he did.

I can still feel

his hands on my

neck, bruising me.

I try to get in the shower,

but she stops me.

You can't,

her voice is soft,

they'll need to do a test.

My eyes stare blankly at her

empty

not understanding.

A,

a rape kit.

She says finally, holding my hand.

We need to go to the

police, soon.

I start shaking my head

faster and faster

until I can't see Elliot

or her apartment

drawings shifting on her floor

like fallen snow.

No

the first word falls, heavy

no

Ava,

she begs, she begs

please darling we have to

let me take you there.

My legs can't

hold me any more

I lower myself to the ground,

settling in a nest of possibilities

of buildings Elliot has drawn

beauty in a pure form

from a mind that I love.

I look at her,

her soft hands and

the freckles I like to kiss in the morning

brown eyes like almonds.

The words sneak up my throat,

struggling to gain momentum,

volume, get past the barriers.

I love you

I say it helplessly

There are tears in Elliot's eyes

And I want to wipe them away but

my arms are too heavy.

I love you too,

her mouth barley moves,

but I see the pain it causes

Let me help,

let me take you to the police.

Ava.

Please.

With effort,

I lift my arm to touch

those golden freckles.

Okay,

I nod, let my hand fall.

Okay.

Elliot begins to cry

she pulls me close,

long strands of her wheat hair

getting in my mouth,

her hands grip the blanket around my shoulders

and she cries. She cries

and cries and

begs me to be okay.

It will be okay

she whispers, stroking my hair

I promise.

I want to believe her,

and I nod

even though I don't