Bloom, Shifting

14.

14.

I don't remember the police station

or the rape kit

only that Elliot never let go of my hand

not once

and the police officer was a woman

with a voice that sounded like water

there were interviews

and I had to give my statement

over and over, until I had it memorized

but the words got stuck in my throat each time

Elliot took me back to her bed

where she tucked me in

held me close

stroked my hair

she fell asleep before me,

I think she thought I'd already

drifted off, but I couldn't

not when I had the ghost of hands,

bruises, settled on skin that

once felt pure

I cried oceans that night

filled with crustaceans and

iridescent jellyfish

lace trailing

behind them in still water

In the early light

Elliot nuzzled my neck

held me close

from behind

breathed sweet air, cupped by my collarbones

before she woke

I slipped out from under her

stepping over gasping fish

desperate anemones,

changed the pillow case,

so she wouldn't know I'd soaked mine

with an ocean