Wasted Chances

Effort

"Akashi."

Though his lips didn't reflect his emotions but his eyes did. Nanami could see them very well. as always.

Those eyes filled with regret, remorse but the most obvious one of all... was guilt. it always had been the same. The look that was in his eyes whenever he looks at her after what had happened last year.

And it's killing her alive. He kept blaming himself and that is not what she wanted.

"Do you want me to get Ryo?" she asked in an attempt to get away.

"He already knew I was coming. He'll get out soon."

"She wanted to leave but her feet won't even budge from where they stood. She can't leave him there. Her heart wouldn't let her. So silence was the only thing that filled the space between the two. That was until the red head broke the silence.

"Were you walking alone just now?"

"I was with a friend. We parted ways over that junction."

"Do you always walk home with that friend of yours?"

"At times. Some days Ryo comes to school to pick me. And other times.. Tetsu insisted he tag along." Akashi eyebrows quirked as if to question my judgment of taking Tetsu with me to walk me home.

"Tetsu's friend are always with us. So there is nothing to be worried about." Nanami added as soon as she realized nobody is going to trust her judgement if she just take tetsu walking her home.

Thinking of Tetsu being a bodyguard of some sort just made Nanami scoffed. He may be talented with basketball but that boy would fly even with a flick of a finger.

Akashi nodded." I see you grew your hair out." instantly Nanami's hand darted for her hair that was already long past her shoulders.

"I see no means to keep them as short as I used to back then anymore. Besides, I kinda like them long. I look twice as pretty than I was before right?" Nanami giggled as she joked and she could have sworn that akashi's lips tugged upwards. Even for just a while that small gesture indicates that this may not be a wrong desicion after all. Maybe she can fix it.

But just as how brief the twitch was, his facial expression returned back to the expression that he wears so very often. Stoic and void of emotion until to the point that Nanami can't even read him. And being the only person that always able to read him in the past, this just wrenched her heart even more. Sending her falling to the darkest pit of regret.

"Sei-" just then her older twin walked out of the front door. Long gone is his usual goofy grin as it is replaced with a serious glance. And Nanami knew that was her cue to leave. Without any parting remarks, she took off into the house. Running up the stairs to her room, shutting the door and when her legs gave away, her back was to the door as she slides to the floor. Trembling.

She tried hard enough to withstand them all. She tried so very hard to block all of the memories away but it's not working at all. She tried not to let it show especially when she was in front of Akashi. but she knew that he saw. Her trembles, her fear, how her eyes screamed for him to stay away even when her heart wants him to stay.

She hate how all of this made her do to the red head. All these while, he's trying to approach yet she has been the one that was the problem. She can't even look at the boy. When she did, everything that happened on that night flashed back into her mind. How everything fall apart that night and how she was helpless to fight them off and the look on Akashi's face when he too was powerless to help her.