Chapter Eleven: Nothings fine.
Blues point of view:
It wasn’t hard to get into the routine here in Ibiza, after three days we were already in a pattern; waking up around lunch time – hitting the beach and then lunch at the bar. After lunch we would then hit the beach again, swimming and talking to the friends we had made. Once it was dark, we would grab a bite to eat, and then head out to the night clubs, Pascha was a favourite, where we saw amazing DJ;s had a foam party, and danced the night away. It helped me forget about things, being drunk in a strange country, knowing I wouldn’t bump into anyone I knew, Hannah had been flirted with a lot, always telling them to fuck off – because she had a boyfriend. I had already got a tan, and my hair was benefiting from the sun and sea- this was a properly needed holiday. I loved having the waiters at night and chilling with Liam who was really cool, I think we got on so well right from the beginning because he had been with me, and liked me in one of my darkest times. This made me so amazed at how Liam accepted me, and was considerate to my sensitive feelings towards Harry. Usually I don’t trust easily, it takes me time, but Liam had found me in such a vulnerable time I had just vented; I knew I could trust him now however. I rolled over in the sand, tanning my back now – Hannah was reading her book, and texting Louis – and I was just lying in the sun baking.
The next few days were a blur, we spent them taking photos, chatting, walking partying and sleeping – it was now day seven in Ibiza.
I had woken up feeling healthy, and relaxed the sun streamed in through my window, and I hadn’t drunk too much the day before so I didn’t have a head ache. It was now lunch time, and Hannah and I wandered up to the bar we went to lunch in the day before – we were meeting up with Emma. Emma had been at the club last night, with her date, Zayn. Zayn happened to be living pretty close to me back home in London, and Emma had invited us to lunch to have a proper less drunken chat.
I walked in and scanned the room, Emma was leaned up against the wall her figure tall and elegant in a floaty dress. Her sun kissed red hair pulled into a pony tail; next to her Zayn was standing, white trousers and a navy t-shirt, he looked amazing.
‘Hello’ I said, Emma’s big eyes shining down at me, and she gave me a hug, Zayn handed me lemonade, and we moved to the little table outside where we were going to eat our lunch. I ordered a salad to share with Hannah and Zayn had a burger and Emma had a sandwich. I fiddled with the little ring on my finger, it was a dolphin and my mum had bought it for me when I was 18, it sat in its usual place, when I moved it the skin under it was a little green and dented. Zayn and Hannah chatted about back home, and Emma told me how her and Zayn had met, they both worked here for the last year as managers. I really liked Emma; her stories made me laugh, and temporarily took my mind of Harry. My mind was constantly worrying about him and Daisy, what had they done; where they close – it made me nervous and uncomfortable.
‘Well, It’s sad that you’re going home soon, but have a happy Christmas and don’t forget to email’ Emma said, kissing my cheek as we stood up to leave, Zayn hugged us both, and we promised to meet up when they were home. Hannah and I took a walk along the beach, we chatted about going home the next day, what we were going to do for Louis party and things. I vented to Hannah about Harry, not like I didn’t talk about him a lot – but she being a good friend listened to me, and advised me. I couldn’t have asked for a better friend right now, Hannah just listened, I knew it was hard for her not to tell Louis how I was feeling, but I wanted to do that myself, him being one of my oldest friends I felt I needed to talk to him about it. Louis had text me every day, along with calling Hannah – he was being so amazing, and kept Hannah up to date with everything back home. Liam was always out during the day, letting Hannah and I chill and be alone, which was what we needed – i felt we bonded a lot though. Liam wasn’t flying back with us tomorrow, but was coming back in a week or so, we had invited him to Louis party, we told him the boys wouldn’t mind, and it would be a way of thanking him. Liam had been all up for the idea, and even suggested he took me, so I didn’t have to walk in by my self – I had kindly turned his offer down, I just didn’t want to pretend anymore, I was going to tell Harry how I felt before Christmas, failing that I think I would explode with frustration and hurt.
Hannah and I packed our things up that night, our flight was early and we wanted to be sober, so we went going out. We ate a simple fishy dinner with Liam and the cook Dina, then watched a film, and drank rose outside on the terrace late into the night the warm breeze and full stomachs sending us into a comfortable sleepy state. We said our goodbyes to Liam and Dina, and went upstairs. I zipped my case, and flopped onto the bed, the soft sheets tickling my skin, and for some reason I burst into tears. ‘
‘Hey babe, what’s up? Shhh..’ Hannah said worried, she cradled me in her arms as I sobbed. Truth was I didn’t know myself, It was a combination of leaving this amazing place, the thought of facing Harry and Daisy again, being in a room where I had once seen Harry almost kill himself, Harry kiss me, Harry be the most amazing genuine friend ever, now all of that would come back when I returned. I knew all that would break me up and I knew, I would never get over Harry.
‘Han, I can’t do it, I need to be with him..’ I mummed as the tears stopped, eventually Hannah calmed me down and I fell into a restless sleep – tossing and turning until I was woken by Hannah – it was time.
