Love Is Blind

chapter three

***FLASHBACK*****
"Say you love me!" Devon shoved his ten inch in me as he grabbed me by the throat.
"I...I...I love you D" I screamed out in pain but tried to sound seductive as I could.
Me and Devon had been fucking around for about a year now and even though he treat me fucked up...I was attracted to his swag. I mean don't get me wrong I wanted to leave his ass plenty of times but I already knew that I wasn't shit without him and people was gonna treat me like I wasn't shit if I wasn't with him.

"Mannnnn you be killing me with that shit!" Devon yelled,punching the closest picture on his bedroom wall.
"What I do!" I screamed back.

"Bitch, yell again in my momma house I'm gone really make you feel like you should be dead rather than alive" Devon walked up on me with this evil look on his face...I almost pissed myself.

"Why you always comin at me crazy...I just answered yo question...I love you." Was the only response that came out my mouth.
"I love you too" Devon grabbed my face aggressively then slammed my face against the wall
"You will never leave me, do you hear me?" Devon said with so much authority I thought he was pulling out my soul with his eyes.
"Okay babe" I told him teary eyed.
"I mean it Shy'ann , I will kill a muthafucka or myself...or you!... If I can't have you!" Devon looked at me like he was having a psychotic episode.
I began to cry uncontrollably "babe stop talking like that I fuckin love youuuu"

"Yea okay...you better...and that's on my unborn"

"Wait what? What u mean unborn?" I asked him hoping he didn't mean what I thought he did.
"You know what time it is" Devon kissed me on the lips then walked out of my house....but before he left he turned around and said
"See ya soon baby momma"

That's when I knew that I had a crazy nigga on my hands.

Here it was two weeks after my last sexual encounter with Devon and I was a nervous wreck. Even though my pregnancy tests were all negative, I still knew in the back of my head that I still could be pregnant and be too early for the results to show up positive.

"Devon, it's me again...kinda
trippen because you haven't called or answered your phone in a week and I haven't SEEN you in about two weeks...what the hell is going on boo, call me, I'm so over all that bullshit we was arguing about...I don't care about you not staying the night or acknowledging me in public....I don't fuckin care...I just want you daddy.call me back pleaseeee!" I yelled in the phone with so much emotion that I knew it had to be a reason ive been so emotional and scared to lose Devon lately....even if he was only my man at 4 in the morning. I didn't care because I knew that he would one day be mine and I'll have him all to myself.

"I just don't know Rachael, we was just good two weeks ago. I'm so scared I'm gonna end up single and pregnant with my second child....and I don't think I can mentally handle all the responsibility...I mean don't get me wrong I love my daughter but, sometimes a bitch be wanting to throw the whole baby away!" Me and Rachael laughed at my joke.

"Bitch first off, I don't know why you call me with all this soft shit when you know I'm gone tell you what it is and I don't give a fuck if I hurt to feelings...you my best friend but I'm sorry ma you hard headed as fuck!" Rachael frustratedly spoke.
" And another thing....I already told yo ass that he was playing you...I already told you that you can't claim a man that ain't claiming you. I already told you last week that Shanda said she saw him over Shameka's and rumor has it around the hood that he over there fucking with her cousin from out of town.....so if you absolutely just can't open no yo simple minded ass eyes then I'll tell you this....he will be back home on the first" Rachael said laughing so hard that the phone fell out her hand.

I was pissed. " Why you say he will be back on the 1st?" I asked instantly regreting it, because I know I sounded Desprate.

"Chile you are something veryyyy special. But I'm saying that because Shameka's cousin is going back home on the 1st....she just came down here for spring break." Rachael broke it down for me despite her own judgement on the situation.