an eye for the innocent; tracob

7

Missing you

Saying Jacob felt upset would be an understatement but at the same time he couldn't find it within himself to regret those words he said to Troye.

Jacob knew he would have felt guiltier if he was to just allow Troye to remain friends with him, ultimately ruining him.

Jacob knew he would not be able to handle placing that unknown worry onto the Mellets' shoulders.

Jacob was now pacing, not stopping till Cassidy could not stand hearing her brother's footsteps repeat their pattern from her bedroom door down to the end of the hallway.

"Jake?" she called out, tentatively.

"Yeah Cass?" he asked without stopping his movements.

"Stop your pacing, it won't get you anywhere. What's wrong?" she heard Jacob's dismal sigh then heard his footsteps turning around from down the hallway, Cassidy sat up on her bed as she thought he was about to come in and actually talk to her about, but she was wrong. When she heard the soft click of his door closing. She sighed and got up from her position, knowing she had to get this out of him before he kept it to himself any longer and hurt himself.

"Please Cass, just stay out," she had only just placed her hand down on the door handle.

"Jake, you have been like this for like two days," she said worriedly.

"Am I not always like this?" he said like it as no big deal.

"Not this bad, come on, just talk to me about it please," she spoke softly and sweetly, hoping it would be enough to coax him out his room or let her in.

"Cass no, just go away," Cassidy was taken aback by his tone, she didn't even recognise it. It was so sad, so frustrated, so... done with.

"JJ?" she said, just the way she used to when she was only a young child. Her throat was closing up as her tears welled up in her eyes.

Not long after she took a step back and then found the wall behind her, she slipped down against it and buried her face in her arms with her legs up to support them. She did not allow herself to sob but she could not help the few tears that escaped her beautiful emerald eyes.

She was there for a good ten minutes when she let out a sniffle.

Jacob heard it, it pierced his heart but he did not get up and go to her.

Cassidy knew, she knew he could hear her, she knew that he would come but after almost half an hour later her hopes diminished completely.

"You know," she started as she stood up again. "Sometimes you more like dad than I could have ever imagined," that's when she could no longer hold in her sobs and let go of both waterfalls of tears, then running off back to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Jacob lay down numb; right now, not even his beloved little sister's sobs could stir him from his position. He lay on his side, facing his back to his bedroom door. He lay there with his eyes open, the most silent of tears making their tracks down his chiselled features as he thought about the recent events that took place not even long ago.

Everything was falling apart, it seemed things only got worse. And what happened with Troye a few days ago was only a minor part of the matter.

"Jacob?" Lilly asked with only the softest of voices, one that Jacob new only meant something was off.

"Yeah Lils?" he answered as nonchalantly as possible to hide his growing worry and racing thoughts.

"I...I don't know how to tell you this without hurting you," she whispered.

Jacob felt his stomach turn at her sad demeanour. He looked over to where she sat on one of the bar stools on her porch while Jacob sat across from her on a bench.

"Lilly, what is it?"

"J...I'm sorry," she whispered even softer this time.

"Sorry for what?" he said, whispering now as well.

"I'm leaving town J," his heart sank and by the tone she used he knew this move was going to be one that was far. "My dad got a huge job opportunity in Sweden and he says he just can't pass it up," tears rolled down her cheeks and fell into her lap. "We leaving in three weeks," Jacob felt his cheeks now damp as well, Lilly had only ever seen Jacob cry a few times and that was only from pure and happy laughter... this was a side of him she knew was there but doubted it often that it ever was there since he never showed his vulnerable side...ever.

"Lilly, I'm happy for you," Jacob said with a smile as Lilly locked gazes with him as she saw his vulnerability disappear as quickly as it came. "This is great, you have always wanted to go to Europe, and you have talked about it so much and now you getting that opportunity. Do not worry about me or get held up on it, I will miss you of course but please don't allow that to stop you from being truly happy, that is all I want from you; to know you are happy.

Jacob now felt his cheeks very wet with tears. That fact made him so angry at himself. He said it himself, that he was happy for her and that he just wanted her to be happy. So why does he have to cry?

What am I going to do without her?