an eye for the innocent; tracob

11

Concerned for you

hey tro! i have great news!

I send off the text on my walk home. I am so elated I am practically prancing down the sidewalk. An easy smile rests on my face and I am pretty sure my eyes are about five shades brighter. I have not felt like this in ages, such relief and my never ending stress over money almost a distant memory.

Everything may actually be okay.

I do not know why it takes Troye so long to answer my text, he normally does with the speed of light.

I tell myself that he may just be staying late at work, perhaps in some meeting that has run over time or he just simply does not feel like talking. I hope that last one is not the case although I am fully aware that everyone needs their space at times. I shoot him another message before I forget to tell him.

sorry to be a bother again but lils and i are having lunch together on saturday, you should join us!

Once inside my apartment I take off my coat and I hang it up on the hook behind my front door then I walk into the living room to collapse on the sofa.

I text Lilly about the good news of me getting to be a restuarant manager but instead of texting back she calls me and squeals over the phone in excitement. She tells me how happy this makes her and how much I deserve it. I smile to myself because after all my hard work I have finally managed to prove to myself and to my boss that I can be more than just a waiter. All those hours of missed sleep and not being able to do what I want to do is finally paying off.

The small voice in the back of my head is whispering to me to not get too excited because normally once something good happens to me, the universe takes it right back with the other hand.

(Just like with Troye. I had him for those blissful few months then not long after he left my life. I have him again now but I fear that it is for not much longer.)

Troye still has not answered my texts. It is later now, he should have texted back by now. I decide to call him, I know he will be off from work by now, surely.

One ring, two rings, three rings, four rings, five? The worry then settles in my stomach, “Hi it’s Troye. Sorry, I can’t talk right now--”

I end the call and stare at my phone as if it has wronged me.

I call again, but nothing. Troye not answering his phone is so out of character.

I go to bed with an uneasy feeling in my stomach and I dream of a happy boy with bright blue eyes that is not so happy anymore.

////

The first thing I do as I wake up is calling the coffee shop, telling my boss that I no longer need the job. He takes it well and tells me he hopes that life treats me well, I think it has, just for a while anyway.

I then decide to call Troye, my worries still sitting heavy on my mind.

Relief overwhelms me as he answers although his voice sounds a bit off but that must just be my imagination.

“Hey, Jacob.”

“Troye, oh my God you scared me a bit. You didn’t answer my messages.”

“Oh uh, sorry I was meant to get back to you but I was working.”

“So late?” I quirk an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I,” he pauses momentarily and sighs. He then quickly changes the topic “am I still invited to join you this weekend? With Lilly?”

“Of course,” I say incredulously.

“Oh good,” he sounds surprised.

“Troye, are you alright?”

“Fine,” he says quickly.

“You don’t sound like yourself, are you sure?”

“I’m fine, Jacob,” he says while sounding exasperated.

“Okay well, I will see you on Saturday.”

“Wait, what’s the good news?” he perks up a bit, it warms my heart to know that he does care but I get the feeling that he is in a rush, like he needs to be somewhere.

“I will tell you on Saturday,” I promise. He quickly hums in agreement and says a quick goodbye which tells me my intuition was right, he needs to be somewhere else.

Why have I got such an uneasy feeling in my stomach about that though?

///

Saturday comes quickly. I am excited to just relax and chat for an hour or two, I missed having freetime.

“Hey,” I say as I take my seat beside Lilly in the café, Troye is also there already, he is subconsciously stirring his cup of tea while looking at it intently.

“Hey,” Lilly chirps.

Troye sits in front of me and my heart sort of skips a bit when he eventually look at me, he looks off to me. The bags under his eyes tell me that something is not right. His eyes are not shining as they should. His smile is not reaching his eyes.

We start off with some catch up chatting and me telling Troye about my opportunity for work, he beams at me as I tell him. In fact, he jumps up from his seat and goes to wrap his arms around me from behind, telling me how happy he is for me.

His hug lingers a bit and Lilly must notice as she smirks at me (my cheeks feel like they are on fire) and slurps on her drink’s straw a bit too obnoxiously.

Our conversation remains light and it brings me back to when we were in high school. We tell each other about our college experiences and about what trouble we have gotten into over the years. Troye and I, our feet touch beneath the table. I go to link our ankles, he gladly links his with mine. He then looks at me momentarily, he smiles small and then goes back to look at Lilly while she speaks.

“Yeah well, it’s been nice catching up with you boys,” Lilly says as she stands up. “I have so much work to do,” we smile apologetically to her and she places a kiss to Troye’s temple, I glower at Lilly playfully.

“What about me! Where's my kiss!” I exclaim with mock annoyance.

“I don’t know where you have been Bixenman,” she teases, I flip her off as she strides out the door, her long hair flowing behind her.

“So,” I say to Troye, my expression softening. “Want to head over to your place? Yours must be better than mine," I tease.

“No,” he tells me quickly, like really quickly. “Your place,” I try to put away the frown that wants to take over my face but I keep a soft smile.

“Okay then, my place it is.”