Clockwork Cowboy

Chapter 25

Nova's heart slammed against her ribs. The nausea swirling about her stomach was accompanied by a pain in her chest that was almost too much to bear.

She didn't think she was naïve. Nova didn't possess world weary cynicism - despite her situation - but nor was she ignorantly blissful. She knew that her marriage wouldn't involve love, or even romance. That hadn't stopped her from hoping, however. She wouldn't be human if she didn't.

She'd - foolishly - hoped that her marriage wouldn't be as fractious as her parents had been. She'd also hoped that he wasn't half the heartless cad that she gave him credit for.

Somehow, her good sense had fooled her into thinking that a man as good-looking as Jese could be unattached. Nova shook her head in self-disgust, using super human strength not to crush that letter up. She was supposed to be smarter than that, not some fresh faced fool who believed every word that fell from a man's lips.

But what words had fallen from them? Her anger abated slightly. He hadn't lied to her, instead he'd managed to avoid talking to her. The fact that she wasn't guilt free herself, was like salt to the wound. In the attempt of self preservation she'd kept distant from him - so not to be sucked in by his charismatic charm - but in doing so she'd not asked enough questions.

So he was in love with another woman? Then what did he want from her? He had money while she had none. But she had a well kept Ranch. He could have easily waited to buy it for a cheap price at the Mortgagee Auction, then he wouldn't have had the discomfort of dealing with her. Of course it wouldn't have been quite as cheap as the cost of paying off her debts alone...

Nova could hear Jese moving about below her. Doors were opening - muffled noises reached her ears. Could he really be hoping to consummate the marriage before beginning with divorce procedures? Did he really have the capacity to be so cruel? She thought of the cold calculated expression that his face constantly wore. Nova wouldn't put it past him.

There was no law to protect women from this kind of daylight robbery. She needed to read further... to see what she was dealing with.

Her proud nature responded quickly, her hand pushed the letter aside. She wasn't going to read any further. She knew all she needed to know. Picking up her petticoat she pulled it quickly over her head. She wasn't going to stand around, like a naked fool, reading love letters from her husband to his sweetheart.

But, she wondered, what if there was an obvious explanation? She wasn't the kind of woman to scream, slap and endlessly interrogate, she was far too proud for that. She needed to read the whole thing to make it all clearer in her mind. It could all be a simple mistake. Scooping the letter back up, her nose crinkled in shame at her blatant invasion of privacy, she read on:

It seems like an age since I saw you last. Standing, waving, as I left you. There is not a moment that has passed where I have not regretted my departure. With your red hair flailing on the breeze, your happy smile reaching your eyes. If only I'd stayed there with you. But I didn't.

You were the only woman I ever planned on marrying, the only one who ever understood me. And yet today I married another, and in doing so I have failed you more than once.

I don't think that I will be writing to you as often. And it pains me so much to think of a day that I didn't share (if only with ink) with you. But you know this is the way it has to be.

Until we meet again, my sweet Magda.

J.C.