kik!frerard

kik!36

a/n: thanks for all the views, i honestly thought this would get nOne. and srsly,, listen to the song. also like fuck this might be shitty i tried editing it like 3 times.

×××

"what are you doing?" i asked as i rounded the corner to the kitchen and spied frank banging open cabinets. loud thumps echoed through the house. "frank." i came up and hit him lightly on the back of the head.

"ow, bitch," he cussed at me, an aggravated look turning to stare at me.

"i think i prefer drunk frank better," i mumbled, opening a cabinet and taking down the advil, avoiding eye contact with him.

"sorry," he said, running a hand through his hair. "i didn't- i didn't mean it in a rude way, o-okay? i'm just... moody."

"because you have a headache. and drank too much. not only that, Frank, but also-"

"shut up-"

"also got high, all the while i had texted you while still sober. precisely telling you not to do something stupid. or was that a lie? were you drunk when i messaged you, too?-"

"shut up, gerard-"

"no, i asked."

he sighed, a frustrated and sad look deep in his hazel eyes.

"you know, everyone prefers drunk me; you know that, right? even my mom. she's just glad i'm not calling her to come pick me up. and no, i wasn't fucking drunk. okay, i know i'm an asshole, i'm a real pain sometimes. and i'm sorry you have to deal with me. or at least you want to, because no one would ever put up with my sorry ass."

"yeah, i care about you."

he looked up at me sadly, as if he were waiting, maybe wanting me to do something.

i shook off the intense unsettling feeling i got when his glassy eyes stared at me for too long. instead, i grabbed a glass and filled it with water. i handed him the pill and water, moving him toward the living room with a hand on his back.

"i need two."

"no you don't," i replied, sitting by him on the couch. he stared at the single pill before shoving it in his mouth and drinking the water down with it. i felt satisfied and relaxed knowing that he hadn't put up an argument.

one question stayed in mind, though.

"what did you do at the party last night, frank?"

"nothing really, just got... wasted and high." his voice was shaky and weak.

"be honest," i said, eyeing him as he was ignoring me. he gulped, trying to lean onto me, but i pushed him away.

"i am."

"tell me, frank." i eyed him up and down anxiously, his shaking hands and small beads of sweat along his forehead.

"i already told you."

"tell me again. honestly." my anger was building up quickly and my heart beat was thumping rapidly in my chest. i felt scared, nervous, anxious. at this point i couldn't contain any patience.

"i-i...i uh... i kissed someone," he answered, looking down, his body raking with short sobs.

"who?" i questioned quickly, my eyes starting to burn with tears threatening to fall, my entire heart feeling crushed. a heavy weight set in my chest only made me more upset. "who, frank?!"

"gerard, please- d-don't-"

"who did you cheat on me with this time?!"

"j-jamia," he answered quickly, fist curling in his hair and and a few tears running down his cheeks.

"were you drunk?" i asked, my breathing a fast pace. i felt a mix of sadness and anger, whether it was to blame alcohol or him. he should have known better in the first place.

"i don't reme-"

"BULLSHIT," i yelled jumping up from the kitchen, making frank flinch and cover himself. "i know you do."

"i don't," he strangled out, body trembling weakly.

"don't lie to me!" i grabbed a fist full of his shirt, grinding me teeth to not let my anger get the best of me.

"i don't remeber, gerard!" he growled at me, looking up and seeing the broken look in his eyes. the look i never wanted to see again. but i had caused it this time. i had brought it on. "i'm not lying," he seethed. "i hate it, too."

i let go of him, looking away.

"just get out," i ordered, tapping my foot impatiently. it was like i couldn't even look at him without wanting to slap him or cry in his arms.

"p-please-"

"get out!"

i felt betrayed, every barrier or small glimmer of hope had came crashing down with one sentence. i hated how my heart still pained to see him like this -eager and upset- but i knew i had to do this. i couldn't keep letting him get to me, building back up my trust only to have it completely demolished again.

he looked at me, but i avoided him. he got up, stopping and standing by me.

"leave," i grunted.

he stared for a few seconds, until finally looking down and walking away. i waited until i heard the sound of the doors hinges squeak for myself to break down. and once they finally had, i was able to let loose; to let free of my emotions, and as i did i still recalled every single thing that happened between us.

so i layed down.

and cried.