Bat Family one-shots

One-shot 3

Dedicated to my friend, readwitheyes

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Bruce and Alfred were setting up a family dinner....and their deaths.

  It's not that Bruce doesn't love family dinners it's just well....family dinner ends up with Damian strangling Tim, Jason yelling at Bruce or fighting Damian, Dick reigning them in, and Alfred..he just stands back waiting to clean the mess.

  "Master Bruce it's going to be fine." Alfred said as he watched Bruce pace back and forth. "Tim just had to invite Connor, Clark, Oliver, and Barry! Clark can't look at Connor, and Oliver and Barry will run and hide or fight each other." Bruce pouted..I mean, argued. Bruce Wayne did not pout....

  Bruce loved his kids-even though Damian's a handful enough-he just didn't want his teammates and Connor seeing a Wayne dinner.

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  "Welcome Master Clark, Connor, Oliver, and Barry." Alfred greeted the Leaguers.

  "Hey Alfie! H-" Barry was interrupted as everyone heard-

"I'm going to rip your heart out Todd!"

  "Try it Monster Mayhem!"

  Alfred mentally face palmed. "I'm sorry, the boys are having an argument." He said and Connor chuckled. He remembered coming over to the Manor and seeing Dick and the others fight.

  "Come in." Alfred said and Dick saw them. He swung off the chandelier and jumped down. "Hey everyone! Sorry about my brothers!" Dick said as Oliver, Clark and Barry had a heart attack.

  "Ever since you were little you scared us. I think it's not gonna stop." Oliver said and Dick hugged his uncles and brother. "It's great to see you." Dick said as-
 
  "I'm gonna strangle you Monster!" Jason said as he ran into the living room chasing Damian who held a gun.

  "Father said no guns at the table!" Damian shouted.

  Guns?! What family has guns at their house?! What family tells their children no guns at the table?! Wait....these are Bruce's kids...that explains everything. Barry thought as he saw Dick back flip over to his brothers.

  "Jay and Dami! Stop or else I'll make you!" Dick yelled and they didn't listen. Dick bristled and said in a calm steel tone, "Jason Todd and Damian Grayson-Wayne."

  The whole room stopped as Jason and Damian paled. "Hey Dickie, just uh..oh screw it. We're already dead." Jason said as Damian hid behind Jason.

  "No! I'm too young! You can not do this Dick! I have my rights!" Damian shouted as Dick threw him over his shoulder and dragged Jason by the ankle.

  "No buts or anything. Our uncles and brother are here and we are gonna be a family." Dick said as Jason clawed at the floor.

  "Barry! Connor! Help meeee!" Jason yelled as they disappeared down the hall.

  Barry and Oliver stared at each other scared as Connor was frowning and Clark was fidgeting. Bruce walked in and saw the claw marks on the ground.

  "Not again...." Bruce muttered as Barry paled.

  Again?! Freaking again?! Barry thought as Oliver went to ask but shook his head. Better not to ask, this is the Wayne Manor.

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  They were all sitting at the table. Like so:

  Bruce and Alfred were sitting at the ends, Dick was in between Damian who sat on his right next to Bruce and Jason who sat on his left and they sat there for two reasons A.) They wanted Dick and B.) Dick was there to reign them in.