A Story of Cinders: From the Ashes

Chapter 48: Start Again

     John was alone with the sleeping giant. His sniper rifle was stripped down to parts. He was holding the bolt, wiping it down with a black, sooty cloth. This was the part that struck the cap on the bullets, setting them off. Without this, his sniper rifle was useless. This was the lethal part. The part that made him a killer. He held the piece between his fingers, twirling it back and forth. Such a small little piece was so lethal. Something so small had such an impact. Ironically, this lethal piece cost more lives when it failed. Several billion lives.

Stop feeling bad for yourself, he thought. This isn't your fault. People die in this line of work. You can't save them all. Guilt had plagued him since his first teammate died. Almost twenty-five years ago now. It was during his first tour in Afghanistan. Three months in, his patrol got attacked by guerillas. The firefight only lasted a few minutes, but about one minute in, his battle buddy, Specialist Cole Whitehurst, got shot in the head. He was dead before anyone could render aid. Immediately, he blamed himself. That guilt more or less kept him from finishing that fight. He couldn't focus. His mind was with his dead friend. But it wasn't his fault. He didn't cause anyone to shoot the specialist. People die in war, and there's nothing that can change that.

He could have stopped the bombs from falling, though. If he shot Karlov. If his gun hadn't failed... If he had been with the rest of the fire team... Stop! There's nothing you could have done! This isn't your fault. Stop blaming yourself.

But he still could have saved Ben. If he hadn't left him alone with that sociopath... If he hadn't taken the kid under his wing. He deserved a better mentor. One that could actually save lives. Enough! Nobody gives a damn about your pity party. You couldn't have known what Nox did was going to happen. Now, you just have to hold down the fort until the rest come. His rifle was reassembled. Time to get some rest. In the morning, Red and Charlie would be back, and they would need to find the other two.

John awoke to the sound of yelling. It was Will. That meant the coms were back online. Quickly, he tried to focus on his voice, but Will was speaking far too quickly for John's foggy mind. Finally he just stopped Will and had him start over. He sighed exasperatedly, then restarted. "Pay fucking attention this time," he started. "Now, are you aware of how the assassination went?"

"I know I hit him. Is he dead?"

"Yes. Nox and I finished him off. But, it was a body double." John dropped his head, barely containing his anger. "Is he still in Russia? Was this all for nothing?"

"Oh no no no... He's in Pinnacle." John let out a slow, forced sigh. "Let it out, man," Will said. John screamed in fury, exploding in a tirade of unintelligible slurs and mountain man slang pent up over years. A hand on the shoulder stopped him, followed by a groan. It was Charlie. And he looked like Hell. "Okay, I'm fine," John said to Will. Charlie nodded his head in appreciation. "So this is bad... We're not gonna give up though, are we?"

"Is Karlov dead?"

"No..."

"Well, the mission is to kill him. And the mission isn't complete yet. So..."

"It's still on..." John smiled slightly.

"Exactly. Now, Nox and I have decided to go on with the militia plan. We're starting with Koyec. See if we can win them over."

"You mean the town we just shot up? I highly doubt they're going to be inclined to join us..."

"You forget, I'm a politician. I get people on my side for a living. Just trust me. And meet us there."