holy {joshler}

i

🌱🌻🌱
You've got it all,
But you've got it all wrong.
You don't know you're a poor unfortunate soul.
Oh I know,
You make it seem that you feel whole,
So they don't know you're a poor unfortunate soul.
🌱🌻🌱

Josh is watching Tyler, he's watching him jump around the stage as though Josh hadn't found him heaving over the toilet bowl an hour earlier. Like he didn't have to help him stand on shaking legs and watch him rinse his mouth out with tap water. He's acting like he's on top form, but Josh has seen the way his hips have started jutting out of his skin, the way his ribs were becoming more and more visible everyday. He puts on a face for the crowd, for the interviewers but there's something dark inside him, it's rotten and it's eating away at his soul like a parasite, a leech sucking his life.

When he runs off stage he can barely stand and Josh wants to hold him up but his own arms are like jelly, he's hit his drums so hard to get out his frustration and worry that he can barely hold an arm above his head right now. Mark pokes his arm watching as Josh fails to swat at him, and Mark laughs and Tyler has slipped out of sight. He's started avoiding Josh when he can lately and he's not pretending he isn't hurt by it anymore.