holy {joshler}

vi

🌱🌻🌱
You don't know.
No you don't know.
You're all alone,
You poor unfortunate soul.
🌱🌻🌱

He catches Tyler sneaking off the bus one night, they're stopped at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere. Josh follows him, sees him running as fast as his paper lungs with grant him and then he's collapsing, screaming and crying and crumpling on himself until he's heaving dryly because his body can't cope with the stress, it wants to explode. Josh can just make out what he's shouting out now, head titled back, tongue like acid he's spitting the words to the night sky, fists clenched and arms bared and Josh is sure his heart has split in half when the wind carries the words to him. "Tell me what to do, tell me what you want from me." He screams his prayers over and over and Josh doesn't have the heart to tell him he's alone, He won't respond like that he couldn't, He wouldn't. But then Josh knows that's far from true he isn't alone, not really, he's doing a good job pushing everyone away but he's loved so Josh stands against the doorway of the bus and waits in the cold until Tyler screams and sobs and beats his chest, his knees the ground, so hard that he collapses spent and finally asleep. After he's noticed the way his body goes limp and his breathing although still ragged from effort is even enough he quietly walks over to his body and picks him up, cradling him like a child and takes him back to his bunk. Tyler doesn't mention it the next day but he tries to place his hand on Josh's arm at one point, Josh walks away before he can.