holy {joshler}

vii

🌱🌻🌱
You can't control where your body let's you go.
You're all alone,
You poor unfortunate soul.
🌱🌻🌱

They play their best show yet, Tyler seems to find energy he didn't even know he has and it flickers something on within Josh and he's playing as though it's still 2012 and all they have is passion and some bar staff but they're playing like its an arena, except now there really is an arena full of people and it's as though Josh suddenly realises these people are screaming every word and now he's playing the best show of his life to date.

Josh is spinning Tyler around in his arms his heart beating rapidly and they're so happy to be alive in that moment that neither one could tell you who instigates it but suddenly they're kissing fiercely, Josh squeezing Tyler into him so tight he will bruise and possibly break and Tyler's hands are in his hair, nails biting into his scalp, it's rough and sloppy and Tyler knows it feels right, so so right and then he's pushing Josh off him, beating his fists into his chest and Josh just takes it, his arms have already dropped to his sides and he stopped kissing him a while ago but Tyler isn't stopping scratching and punching with no real impact he's too weak, or maybe he doesn't really mean it.

"I'm not gay." He chants it over and over again. "This is wrong." Its like a mantra now, and Josh lets him cry and fight against him because he knows if he's not hitting him now, he'll be hurting himself later and that's so much worse.