holy {joshler}

viii

🌱🌻🌱
And you say that I've got it all wrong.
'Cause you just know I'm a poor unfortunate soul.
🌱🌻🌱

They sit on top of the roof of a car outside the next venue, waiting to be called to soundcheck, they sit and they stare at each other but neither of them dares speak. Then Tyler is finally cutting through the silence, voice almost as cracked as his lips.

"I don't feel that way about you, we can't be together, it's not right." He says and Josh just stares out at the horizon and pretends he's someone else, somewhere else, where he's not in love with a man so far in denial he's killing himself.

But he doesn't stop Tyler's bony fingers from scooping him off the bathroom floor after the show, when he practically ran off stage to throw up, to feel his lungs squeeze until he's gasping on the floor seconds from passing out. He can't even speak to tell Tyler to stop stroking his back and talking him down, because he's weak and broken too and he doesn't want it to stop, he doesn't want him to ever ever stop.