Hiraeth: Sabriel Oneshots

This is How I Disappear

Yas, this is inspired by the My Chemical Romance song. Well, and an RP I did with two of my friends.

For those of you who are really sensitive to suicide please either read with caution or skip this oneshot. He doesn't actually commit, but comes close.

The knife glinted in the moonlight, casting a reflected beam across the sand beside the rolling of the tide. He rolled the jade handle in his right hand, caressing it gently like one might the cheek of their lover.

He sent his whiskey gaze across the dark water, watching the glitter rise as the crest of the waves. They crashed rhymically to the beach, dragging the sand along with them as they pulled back, retreating to the depths of the ocean before being rolled up once more.

It was a cycle he would always remember when he let the blade kiss his skin.

There was no one to stop him. That was good. At this point, he didn't want to be stopped. He didn't see the need for such.

It would feel good letting it all melt away, as if his life were but a cube of ice let out to the sun. He would remember the times he was actually happy from his place in heaven.

He would watch over his best friend from there. If one could call him his best friend.

Oh, and his brother would always be watched with the utmost care. He was his pride and joy, never to be left for dead like himself.

His lungs filled with the salty air as he held up the knife, slowly dragging it across his skin. There was no going back. Only forward, now.

Crimson beads trailed his wrist, curving along his skin to form a bleak bracelet, a mark of his doings. He closed his eyes blissfully, feeling the calmness wash over him.

Soon.

***

Curled up in a chair was Sam, waiting patiently at the side of Gabe's bed. He listened to the heart monitor drone on steadily, his hand over Gabe's.

It had been a week and he'd left only twice at Dean's demand. The nurses had made a poor attempt to throw him out, but they'd caved after hearing the stories about them.

They were hopeless romantics, the lot of them.

Sam stared at Gabe's adorable face, so tranquil and sweet. He rubbed his thumb softly over the skin of his palm, wanting to know why. What had happened to drive Gabe so far?

"Sam?"

The Winchester's head rose sharply, his hazel eyes meeting whiskey gold with a clash. He smiled. "Hey, Gabey," he murmured happily, his eyes welling with tears.

Gabe turned sad, having saw the change in his eyes as they clouded over. "Why are you crying?" he asked.

Sam, realizing his hand was still covering Gabe's, entwined their fingers. "I almost lost you," he choked, looking down.

"What did I do?" Gabe whispered, making Sam look back up. Their eyes met again and all he could see was the smaller teen's fear and hurt swirling in the irises.

"You slit your wrists," Sam answered slowly, running his fingers feather light over the bandages that wrapped it. "Did it on a beach at midnight. Cas couldn't find you so he searched. Scared him real bad, Gabe."

The smaller teen took on a guilty look. "I didn't mean to hurt him," he murmured. "I just wanted out."

Sam's heart fell. "What do you mean?" he questioned, even though he knew the answer.

"Dealing with it all doesn't work, Sam," Gabe told him, looking him in the eye. "I watched my parents take their lives. I took care of Cassie. I moved us around. I took all of the beatings from every bully at every school."

He suddenly laughed ruefully. "Hell, I took shit from everyone everywhere."

Sam rubbed his arm, trying to offer up some comfort. Gabe shivered at the contact, but relaxed into it quickly. He let the Winchester's warm touch melt him.

"I'm not looking for pity or anything," Gabe continued quietly. "I know others have it worse than me. I just can't stop myself."

Something clicked in Sam then, a rush of protectiveness. He shook his head. "That's where I come in," he told him with a small, caring smile. "Your battles are just different, and no fights a battle by themselves, no matter the type."

Gabe blinked, his eyes welling. "Thanks, Sam," he whispered.

Scooting over on the small bed, the smaller teen waved for Sam to climb up beside him. It was a tight fit, but both of them were soon on the bed, Gabe partially curled up on Sam.

In all honestly, they were content. Well, as content as they would be for now.

The road to come wouldn't be easy to drive down, but at least Gabe had someone to tow him out.

I'm sorry this wasn't happier. I started this after I'd done some sad RP and finished it after watching depressing movies.

The next one will be fluffy romance, but I hope you enjoyed this one anyway.

Maybe it gave you some perspective on me, maybe it didn't. Perhaps you'll break down, or perhaps not.

I wish all of you the best and know that I'm here. There are others here, too. Fandoms are family. We don't let others fall.

I do have to also apologize for the times I get like this. I get myself trapped in a sad pit and then I write it out in order for me to escape. I guess that's my release for it.

I love you guys so much. Keep fighting and keep up the family business.

~Addie