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As bad as I felt as a person, all my anger was poured out and replaced by feelings of ecstacy, of bliss and of euphory. Every ounce of my anger had vanished into thin air, but I couldn't ignore the guilt creeping its way into my thoughts.
I looked around the room and tried to adjust my eyes to the morning light that came through the windows and into the white room.
The walls were painted white, the bed sheets shared the same tint of white and the floor on which laid all of my clothes displayed various shades of gray to finish the entirety of his appartment with a modern outcome. The nightstand next to me held my cellphone, which I grabbed to look at the time. A wave of panic travelled my body at the white digits indicating 11:12. Fuck.

I slowly got out of the covers, covering my naked body while trying to spot my shirt on the floor. I grabbed my underwear and slipped on my jeans, buttoning them up while scanning the floor for my shirt. I spotted the black material next to his shirt and zipped it up in my back as far as I could reach, grabbing my high heels while glancing one last time at the boy whom I was forbidden to approach more than necessary.
Nick was sleeping peacefully, his hair messy yet adorable against the white fluffy pillows and the covers slightly showing just enough for me to crave him once again. I bit my lip and left against my will, my cellphone in my hand and my high heels in the other. I called Max to get a ride, I didn't have any money left in my wallet due to all the alcohol I had to pay by myself at the restaurant and the uber I had called to get there.

I waited anxiously for about 15 minutes outside of Nick's appartment, not wanting him to wake up and start looking for me.
Max finally pulled over, paralell parking next to where I was. Leaves were falling heavily as wind blew by, splashing vibrant colours in my vision which was still not used to the outside light.
I stepped in the street and walked around the car, opening the door to the passenger's seat.

"I can explain," I stated before he could say anything.

"What the litteral fuck are you doing at Nick's appartment?" he asked, raising his eyebrows, despite me trying to prevent him from freaking out, "And fuck, what the fuck is that on your nec-
He couldn't continue his sentence as realization hit him, "Fuck, Lara. Tell me you didn't fuck him," he continued, answering his own question before I could pronounce anything.

I looked at my neck through the tiny mirror above us and grimaced at how many blueish red spots I had, bruised thightly in the skin of my neck, marking some places on my body on which Nick had left his trace.

"Well, there's no use in me trying to make you think otherwise, is it?" I asked despite knowing damn well what the answer to that question was.

"You promised me you would stay away, and then you sleep with him," he chuckled sarcastically, as if dissappointed in me, "Sure, Lara. Don't say I didn't tell you so. He won't talk to you again. You guys are done. He got into your pants and now he's over you. He will tell all the fucking hockey team a bunch of nasty shit that just should never be used to talk about a girl,"

"Why do you care so much anyway? I don't love him, I'm not that into him, he's just hot. I won't cry a river if he gets out of my life. Big fucking deal," I replied, turning my head the other way around so that I was now staring out the window. He hadn't started the car yet, but my gesture silenced him and he started driving out of Nick's street.

After a few moments of silent driving, I could feel his gaze on me now and then.
"I care about you, a lot. I've seen what that guy is capable of when it comes to girls. Not just with girls; in general. That guy is not boyfriend material, trust me. He's done some pretty messed up shit. He's my friend, we play hockey together. I'm in those locker rooms. You should've heard what he said about Ade Welson,"

"I don't care what he said, and I don't care what he says about me. I slept with him knowing damn well that there would be no round two. I don't regret having sex with him one bit,"

"Okay, then if not for you, think about Scar,"

"She's the one who fucking told me to go fuck him for all she cares," I mimicked, crossing my arms over my chest, turning my gaze to the road in front of us.

"She was hurt, Lara. You know she said that because she's jealous. You guys have been friends for like fucking forever. You can't let a guy, especially not fucking Nick Robinson, get between you two. I think of you as my two little sisters, of course I'm going to mind that you get fucked by a guy like him,"

"I know..." I trailed off, rubbing both of eyes despite them still wearing yesterday's heavy makeup, "I just don't know how to fix this,"

"You girls are so fucking complicated, just talk to her or punch her in the face, whatever works best for yall to solve conflicts," he replied, making me slightly giggle despite my shitty mood.

"But she needs to see that she doesn't love him. The thing is, I'm not saying that to make myself feel better, I'm not saying things to excuse the fact that I'm hooking up with him. It did the same thing with Will. She thought she was obsessed with him, but two weeks later she started dating Matthew Johnson. She doesn't know what love is, and she still doesn't,"

"I know. Scar is like an innocent child. She kind of lives in a fairytale, and I'm not saying that in a way that is supposed to be insulting. She just is the kind of person who sees rainbows and love everywhere, and her bubble was burst last night. Just give her some time, she'll come around,"

"Yeah," I answered, ending the conversation as Max made a left turn in my street.
He pulled over next to my house and I gave him a slight hug before walking barefoot to my entry. I grabbed the key from under the matress and entered my house, finding it empty as usual.

Well, what now?

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