Fuckboy ↬ Nick Robinson Fanfic

9

Weeks had passed since that night.
But Max was wrong. He did come back for a round 2, and for a round 3.
Truthfully, I stopped counting at 6.

We were starting to act like two reckless kids in love, which to me, was the warning sign that meant I had to leave soon. I could not get attached to him or I would get hurt and all of our adventures were not helping in any way. We saw each other every day. He came to my house when all the lights were out and snuck me out of my bedroom to take me somewhere new every night.
We broke into libraries and stole kisses between book shelves while scanning each and every book that sparkled our interest. We blew up fireworks in the parking lot of his apartment and I started waking up in his bedsheets with light peaking through his curtains as often as I would wake up in mine. He was the gate that made me forget my problems, the drug that made me see things that were too good to be true. That is why his presence in my life was starting to worry me. I started getting used to his scent on my clothes, to his eyes sparkling when we were sitting in his car and facing the sun that seemed to burn into darkness, to his hands on my bare skin and to his breath on my neck. He brought excitement to my days, and even with Scar ignoring my every attempt of making it up to her, I still found ways to laugh with a laughter that you can tell is genuine and deeply rooted in joy just by hearing it.

That is why I had to leave.

I shook my head and zipped up my jacket further up my body, shivering at the outside temperature getting colder day by day. Lights began decorating every pine tree standing tall in our way and Nick's features slightly lit up the closer we got to the series of colourful lights in front of us. He turned his gaze to me and lights twinkled in his stare, his lips forming a smile as he put his arm around my neck, kissing the side of my forehead.

"Come on, there's this place I want to show you," he told me, removing his arm from around my shoulders and sliding it down my arm to intertwine his fingers between my cold and trembling ones. He lead me through the streets as steam escaped my lips and we made our way through the passing people sipping on their hot coffee and giggling, sensing the spirit of the Holidays in the air, tinted with a hint of peppermint and gingerbread.  

The further we walked, the more isolated we became. He lead me to the back of a building where stood a ladder, just like that time we went to the rooftop of the library. 

I was now used to climbing ladders to get on rooftops. I hopped on the first step and made my way to the top, slightly shivering each time my bare hands touched the icy metallic steps of the ladder. Before I could turn to Nick to see if he was following me, I got hooked by the view in front of my face. The sun was setting, tinting the winter sky with colours going all the way from orange, to pink, to lilac, and to pastel yellow. It was slightly snowing, just tiny snowflakes landing in the strands of my hair and onto my dark jacket. The air smelled fresh and clean, as if cleansed by the winter breeze. The falling snow mixed with the light scattered by the setting sun gave a brilliance in the air that almost seemed magical; as if sparkles hung around us, shining as stars through the night. 

"Where do you even find these places?" I mumbled, not looking away from the town beneath of feet, gently coated with a white carpet. 

"I used to run away when I was younger. Whenever I couldn't take it anymore I would run outside and go somewhere no one could find me. All these places are what my anger would lead me to," he replied, gazing at the faraway distance, seeming used to the view. 

"What were you mad about?" I asked, immediately regretting my indecency. I turned my gaze to his face, and noticed it had gotten softer. He looked down and hesitated before looking up once more, furrowing his eyebrows and slightly closing his eyes to keep the light from coming in.

"You don't have to answer if-

"No, it's okay. I trust you," he replied, his lips curving into a shy grin. He sat down on the edge of the roof and I followed him, slightly moving my legs in a pattern in the air, sometimes banging into the wall of the building. 

"Thank you,"

"Anyway, my mom has always been there for her kids. Despite how much trouble I would get into, she was the only one who could get through me, she was the only one who could calm me and she was the only one who fucking believed in me. She didn't treat me like shit, she loved me and did everything she could to make sure her two children had the best life they possibly could. But my dad..." he trailed off, clenching his jaw, "Man, my dad was such a fucking prick to her. He cheated on her, he hit her more than he kissed her and he would get drunk, spend all of our money on drugs, alcohol and on fucking games. He had a shit load of problems, and he treated me and my sister like fucking shit. I've always hated him, he made my mom cry all the time and those fucking screams, I swear, I would have night terrors about them all the fucking time," he paused, staring at his hands resting on his lap.

"And where's your mom now? Why aren't you with her?"

I immediately regretted the words that escaped my lips when I saw the look on his face. He did not even have to speak. When I saw his expression, I knew what it meant.

"She passed away two years ago. She had cancer," 

"Nick, I am so sorry, I didn't know,"

"Lara, it's okay, you don't know this kind of things just by looking at someone. That's why I live alone. The only reason I stayed in that fucking house was my mother and my sister. But my dad likes my sister more than he likes me, and since I don't have my dad's approval or enough money to hire a lawyer for her custody, she can't live with me. If I took her, my dad would see it as abduction, as ironic as it is considering he probably makes her live in shitty ass conditions," 

"Do you still see her?"

"I pick her up from school most days so she doesn't have to take the bus. Me staying there was too dangerous, so that's why I moved out. My dad and I would fight way too often and it scared her. I don't blame her,"

"Wow, that's pretty harsh. I'm sorry you had to go through all of it," 

"I guess it made me a better person. I do plan on bringing her in my apartment, I just don't know how I'm going to do it, but the fact that she's alone in a house with him fucking disgusts me," he replied, turning his gaze to me for the first time since we started this conversation. 

"I can help you if you want,"

"Don't get mixed up in this, Lara. I don't want my problems to affect you,"

"It would be my pleasure," I slightly grinned, making him chuckle, "And if it makes you feel any better, I know what it's like to lose someone precious to you. My mom didn't die, but she left when I was 5. She never called us again, she didn't leave any note or any warning. I simply woke up one day and she was gone,"

He didn't reply, he simply wrapped his arm around my neck and brought me closer to him, so that I could smell his scent I was so used to as I lied on his chest, hearing his heartbeat. He kissed my forehead and I smiled at myself, feeling the warmth of his arms around my trembling self. 

If he were not such a fuckboy, who knows what we could become?