I Accidentally Destroy the Mafia

Chapter 2

A/N: Yay new chapter! I'll try to post as frequently as possible^^

Disclaimer: I only own my characters, all other characters belong to Kafka Asagiri.

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"Did I just...kill the boss of the Grey Mafia?"

Shizune snapped out of her daze. "I can't stay here, I need to leave!"

She was about run for it when a man about her age suddenly landed in front of her. Wait, where'd he come from? she thought in confusion. The man had auburn hair and blue eyes, and was dressed almost completely in black.

He looked at her curiously and gestured towards the blown-up ditch. "Did you kill him?"

"No, I didn't kill him!" Shizune said frantically. "Well, I did, but I said he was bald and he wouldn't listen to me so I blew him up!"

Wait, that came out wrong, she thought.

"You're pretty dangerous for someone who looks so weak," he said. "Who hired you?"

"Um, I really need to go," she replied. "I have to go to...a birthday party...for my cat."

His eyes narrowed. "Not telling? I guess I could just torture you for information."

Ugh, he's overreacting, his hat said to her. You don't even look like an assassin. This totally wasn't your fault.

Shizune smiled happily. "Thank you!"

The man stared at her in confusion. "Why the hell are you thanking me?"

And you're right, the hat continued, he was actually bald.

Shizune nodded. "Yep, hats are often used to hide baldness."

The man scowled. "I'm not bald!" He took off his hat to prove his point.

Hey, tell you what, the hat said. I'll help you out, but in return you have to clean me using one of those really expensive brushes.

She nodded vigorously. "Deal."

With that, she focused on the man again. He's pretty slim, so maybe if I try really hard, I can overpower him, she thought hopefully. Alright, let's do this.

The man glared at her, and in one swift move, he slammed her into a wall and held a knife to her throat.

OK NEVER MIND ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION.

"Who are you?" the man demanded.

Tell him that you're actually Dazai Osamu in disguise, the hat suggested.

"I'm actually Dazai Osamu," she blurted out. "I'm just crossdressing for fun!"

He blinked in surprise. "What?"

He loosened his grip, and Shizune immediately ducked away from him and sprinted for the exit.

Luckily, a person happened to be standing near the entrance of the alley. She immediately hid behind him and held her breath. A moment later, the man with the hat ran out of the alley and went the opposite way.

Thank you, she mouthed to his hat.

Don't forget our deal! the hat replied. Later, you have to clean me with a really expensive brush!

Shizune smiled and nodded. Maybe this ability isn't so bad after all, she thought.

Hey, you! shouted a nearby trashcan. Yeah, you, the girl with the horrible fashion sense! Get over here and fix my lid!

"Never mind, I hate my ability," she muttered.

"Hey, are you ok?" the person she was hiding behind asked awkwardly. Wow, I love his clothes, she thought. It really compliments his silver hair.

"Um, hello...?"

Shizune snapped back to reality. "Oh, yep. I'm perfectly fine."

"I'm Atsushi Nakajima," he said, smiling nervously. "What's your name?"

"I'm Shizune Hirano. Nice to meet you," she replied. "Sorry, can I borrow your phone?"

He nodded, and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Maybe it was because she'd been in a life or death situation, but Shizune had suddenly remembered Alex's phone number after she'd been attacked by the boss of the Grey Mafia.

I guess intense fear can really improve a person's memory, she thought.

She dialled the number and, almost immediately, someone picked up.

"Hiiii!" said an extremely cheerful voice.

"ALEXIA WINTERS YOU COMPLETE ASSHOLE I HOPE YOU HAVE SLOW WIFI FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!" Shizune shouted furiously into the phone.

The guy named Atsushi flinched in terror.

"Shizu-chan!" Alex said gleefully. "Did you find the hotel? Lovely place, isn't it?"

"BECAUSE OF YOUR DAMN PRANK, I ACCIDENTALLY BLEW UP THE BOSS OF THE GREY MAFIA!" she yelled. "AND I LOST MY SUITCASE!"

Atsushi slowly began to back away.

"Tsk tsk," Alex said disapprovingly, "I didn't raise you to be such an irresponsible person, Shizu-chan. How could you lose your suitcase on the first day of your trip?"

"I will find you," Shizune said with deadly calmness, "and I will shove a tube of wasabi down your throat."

"Oh, you know you love me!" Alex laughed.

With that, she hung up. Shizune stomped her foot in frustration and gave Atsushi back his phone.

"Um, are you sure you're ok?" he asked her cautiously.

Shizune sighed. "All my stuff was in my suitcase, so I guess I'm just kinda pissed off."

"Want me to help you look for it?"

She shook her head. "I didn't exactly lose it, but if I go back, I'll probably meet the guy with the hat again..."

"Well, I can at least treat you to dinner," he offered.

"Thanks," she said gratefully. "You know, you're the nicest person I've met today. Once I get a job, I'll definitely pay you back."

"Oh, you don't need to," Atsushi said hastily.

Suddenly, she remembered that all her recommendation letters and documents were in her suitcase.

"Or maybe I'll just jump off a bridge," Shizune said. "Yep, that sounds like a good idea."

"Wait, what?" he said in horror. "Hold on! You should think about this-"

Shizune walked to a bridge nearby and climbed onto the railing. I'll come back as a ghost and haunt Alex for the rest of her life, she thought grimly.

"Wait!" a voice shouted.

Shizune paused and saw a man running towards them.

"Don't try to stop me," she told him.

The man stopped a few feet away from her and smiled.

"I won't," he replied. "Actually, would you like to commit a double suicide with me?"

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A/N: So Dazai finally enters the story! Do you think Shizune will accept his request? Please vote, comment, etc.