I Accidentally Destroy the Mafia

Chapter 3

A/N: Third chapter's out! I feel like the characters I create are really messed up...oh well. Enjoy^^

Disclaimer: I only own my characters, all other characters belong to Kafka Asagiri.

***

"Don't try to stop me," she told him.

The man stopped a few feet away from her and smiled.

"I won't," he replied. "Actually, would you like to commit a double suicide with me?"

"No," Shizune said flatly. "Go die by yourself."

He clutched a hand over his heart, looking hurt. "Why? Am I not good enough for you?"

"I want to die alone," she replied. "If I'm gonna commit suicide, then I only want my face to show up on the front page of tomorrow's newspaper."

"But we'd look great together!" he protested.

She pointed at him accusingly. "You look incredibly hot with your messy hair and red-brown eyes-"

"Why, thank you. It's an honour to be complimented by such a beautiful lady."

"-so if we die at the same time, then people will only remember you! Stop trying to hog my spotlight!"

He looked at her sadly. "But we're connected by the red string of fate! This was meant to be!"

Ok, this conversation's beginning to sound like a k-drama, she thought. Ignoring him, Shizune jumped off the bridge. The man immediately grabbed her wrist and she glared up at him in irritation.

"Can you please commit a double suicide with me? It'd be a waste if you died by yourself!" he pleaded.

"Dazai-san! You're supposed to be convincing her not to commit suicide!" Atsushi yelled.

Dazai?

Shizune blinked in surprise. "Oh, you're the guy who I said was a crossdresser."

Dazai looked completely shocked, and his grip loosened. Shizune fell backwards and plunged (ungracefully) into the river. The impact pushed all the air from her lungs and she completely blacked out.

***

A boy and a girl stood in a room surrounded by piles of bodies as high as their heads. They were both covered in blood, but none of it was theirs.

"You're not scared that I'll kill you?" the girl asked curiously.

"You're not scared that I'll kill you?" the boy retorted.

"Of course not." She laughed. "I'm already dead."

He tilted his head. "Prove it. What's the afterlife like?"

"It's...lonely," she replied. "That's why I came back. I hate being alone."

The boy thought for a while. "Then next time, let's go together. That way you won't be alone."

She smiled. "Promise?"

"Promise."

***

"-une-san. Shizune-san! SHIZUNE-SAN!" a voice shouted frantically.

"Ok, mouth to mouth is the only option," another voice said. "Atsushi-kun, move over please."

Shizune's eyes snapped open. "ALEXIA WINTERS HERE I COME I SHALL MAKE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE AND HAUNT YOU UNTIL YOU DIE!"

She cackled evilly and stood up -then promptly collapsed while coughing out water.