Caught in the Darkness

CHAPTER NINETEEN: I Just Wanted to See Your Face

"It's okay Hayabusa, I'm feeling fine," Hanako tried countless times to convince her guardian that she was feeling good after her feverish symptoms faded.

"DON'T JUST ASSUME THAT EVERYTHING IS OKAY!" Hayabusa yelled but Hanako looked away from him, focusing on the window. They were in Hanako's apartment, just waiting. The Hokage requested all Shinobi with tutoring Genin teams to remain in the village for the Chuunin Exams, so they were technically free. The test would begin in just a few days and there were already some Genin from other villages walking around. "Are you listening to me?"

Hanako's eyes moved to her bird. "Not really."

Hayabusa sighed. "If it weren't for Kakashi you would have probably died of hypothermia. You were totally out." Hanako rolled her eyes.

"Aren't we over this already, seriously Hayabusa you're not my parent to worry that much," the falcon pinched her hand and the brunette flinched. "Was that really necessary?" She glared at the bird.

"You should care for yourself a little more. You don't think about risks, you don't care if you die!" Hanako frowned. "Stop being so selfish, Uchiha Hanako!" Hayabusa said loudly. "Think about how we would feel if you die, think what would happen to all the things you haven't done. Who will care about it?" Hanako pressed her lips into a thin line. "Stop chasing death."

Hanako looked at the ground, "I'm starting to think that's death the one following me and not the other way around..."

"Then try harder to avoid it," Hayabusa stated firmly. Hanako looked at him and smiled softly.

"All right," she muttered. There were still a lot of things she had left to do. Hayabusa was right on something, she couldn't die. Not yet, anyways. "So, Kakashi took care of me when I was sick..." she looked back at the window.

"He worries about you," Hayabusa sighed. "Maybe a little too much." He added the last part looking intently at the Uchiha, but she was unfazed. "I think he likes you," he blurted. Hanako looked at him.

"'Who? Kakashi?" she asked. Hayabusa was exasperated.

"Yes, can you stop spacing out? It's annoying." Hanako looked back at the window.

"Well, he's a good guy, I like him too," she replied. The bird flew to rest on Hanako's shoulder.

"I'm talking about love." Hanako clenched her hands into fists. "I think he's better for you, better than Itachi--" Hanako stood up abruptly and walked to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and pulled out a bunch of ingredients, placing them over the counter beside her. "Hanako?"

"This much talking just made me hungry," she said without looking at him. She continued to prepare her food silently.

"You have to make a choice," Hanako started to cut a few carrots into slices. "You have to make clear your feelings--" Hanako cut the carrot too close to her finger, and started to bleed slightly.

"Ow..." she brought the finger into her mouth to lick off the blood, as soon as she pulled away she was already healed. "I don't know what to do..." she admitted, letting go of the knife and turning to look at Hayabusa. "I don't know how I should feel, about either of them. I hadn't seen Itachi in five years, and I don't know when I'll see him again. I don't know if I can be with someone I don't ever see. I love him yes, and kissing him felt just like the first time." Hanako returned to her cooking. "About Kakashi, it's...different. He's older than me, and he seems to already know what I want. It's like he could read my mind. He lets me do what I want, he trusts me." Hanako stopped what she was doing. "Itachi didn't. He was overprotective, he never thought I was strong enough to do something, he preferred to do everything on his own. He hid things from me, he lied to me." Hanako could feel tears flowing down her cheeks. "But I just...I can't be angry with him. Love doesn't let me."